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  #1  
Old 03-03-08, 06:08 PM
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Unhappy Locking the barn door...

Can I just complain?

Have you ever heard the saying that it's no use locking the barn door once the horsed have already escaped? Or in other words, it's no use trying to prevent a disaster that has already happened?

That's where it feels like I am right now. Here's my schedule for the next few weeks:

March 7th: General Biology Lab Practical. Bad point, I haven't even started studying for it yet. But the good point is that it is open book, so all I need to do to prepare is to put my lab notebook in order. Right now, it's incomplete and in chaos!

March 13th: Two things this day. First, my Invertebrate Zoology Midterm. Again, I haven't even started studying for it. Unfortunately, this one isn't open book. And second, instead of a research paper, I have to create a website about Sponges. Which I have actually started. But just barely.

March 14th: I have a paper due for General Biology. Luckily just a review, no research or experiments required. But it's supposed to be a discussion of three related research papers and so far I've only chosen two!

I am completely overwhelmed. I can't concentrate. When I do manage to sit down and read something, I get to the end of the page and I can't remember what I read because although my eyes were on the words, my brain was somewhere else! Or for the same reason, I have no idea what I've written down because my fingers are copying the information without my brain registering it! My sleep schedule is completely chaotic, I alternate between sleeping too much and insomnia. And so is my energy level, sometimes I can hardly gather enough energy to think straight, sometimes I'm bouncing off the walls. But even when I have energy, I spend hours and hours working on things but never seem to get anything finished. My room, my car, and my life in general are in chaos.

And of course...speaking of locking the barn door after the horses escape....

March 19: I meet with the psychiatrist and hopefully finally get medication to help me concentrate! A lot of good it will do me for all things I have to get done before, though!

Oh well. Maybe the rest of the semester will be better.

Advice? Opinions? Commiserations?

Amy
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Old 03-03-08, 07:22 PM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Sorry, Amy. I don't really have much to offer. I hope the new meds work out for you. Think about making a list of what needs done and focus on one thing at a time. Easier said than done but it's all I have just now.
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Old 03-03-08, 09:09 PM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Are you reg'd with special needs?

They can give exam accommodations, tutors, recorders or notetakers for class, talking reading programs, scribes, etc etc.
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Old 03-04-08, 01:26 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Dont give up Amy just because you are behind or lost with your subjects... keeping on studying... do a little more each day so you can catch up...

Mead is right about the accommodations... I myself have several of them.
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Old 03-04-08, 08:32 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Hey, if it makes it any easier i can send you a power point presentation i had to make about sponges last year! I don't mean just copy it or anything, but at least it might help with the whole 'how to begin' part!

I just completed this weeks panic attack about homework so i know how you feel. lol

Let me know in a pm if you would like the presentation

Nicole


(it got a pretty good mark!)
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Old 03-05-08, 07:28 PM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I think you're right - I just need to make lists and focus on one thing at a time. That way, at least I'll get something done if not everything. At least I'm coming at this from the direction of staying on top - I currently have A's in both of my biology classes - rather than catching up. But these are major projects that I SHOULD have been working on all semester! Instead, as always happens, here I am with only a few days left to finish several weeks worth of work! Oh, and since you asked, yes I am registered with a documented disability. So far, the only accomodation I have is double time on tests - which I really only need for math. Unfortunately, for tutoring, the disability office doesn't do tutoring, but they referred me to the student services office that does. And they have been taking forever to find me tutors. This week, they finally found me a math tutor, but then the director threw a fit when I wanted to meet with him more than one hour a week! Which made me remember that a few weeks ago, I was chatting with the director of that office and she happened to mention that she doesn't beleive that ADHD exists! She thinks it's a made up excuse for behavioral problems brought about by poverty and bad parenting! I'm not kidding. She said "ADHD is a made up disease. If it was real, all kinds of kids would get it. And rich kids never get ADHD, only poor kids get it." Yeah. Right. You can imagine my reaction. At the time, I was shocked and a little bemused that someone in her position had something so stupid come out of their mouth. But now, I'm wondering if the reason I'm having problems getting tutoring is because she doesn't believe my disability exists. Anyhow, today I went and had my weekly appointment with the school counselor. Actually, our visits involve very little counseling and lots of ADD coaching. She knows tons about ADHD, would have diagnosed me herself except school rules required an outside opinion, AND not only is the school counselor but she is also the Director of Disability Services! So --- I told her what the lady at the tutoring center said and she is going to go to the lady's supervisor and put in an official complaint for discrimination. I'm really of two minds about it, on the one hand, I actually get along great (usually) with the lady from tutoring and I don't want her to get in trouble, but on the other hand, if she's withholding services because she doesn't "believe" in ADHD, well that's another story. I told the counselor that they best solution will probably be to have someone at her level (ie another school administrator or one of the provosts) call her in and educate her about ADHD in particular and discrimination against disabled students in general. Anyhow, so that's what's going on so far. Little by little, piece by piece, it WILL all work out, right? Well, I'd better get back to studying. Thanks again for the replies!

Amy
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Old 03-05-08, 09:15 PM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Amy -

I'm so glad you told the Director of Dis. Serv. about that other Director of Tutoring's NOT believing in ADHD. And YES - very possibly this woman had no intention of being hurtful or discriminatory - but she really needs to be open-minded about ADHD's existence or else she isn't suited to work with a population needing tutoring.

Good job!

Sue
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Old 03-06-08, 04:19 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

oy i feel your pain

one time i had a calcII, ochem, and animal physiology test in 2 days...i puked from an ulcer from drinking an obscene amount of energy drinks and i barely passed them all but i DID pass them. i wasn't diagnosed yet and i opened my books like 2 days before the last test (no not the first test that would make too much sense)

don't worry you'll do fine! just take it one day at a time
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Old 03-15-08, 03:09 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Well, it's now Friday evening and I thought I'd let you know the results of my frantic week. I stayed up so late getting ready for the lab practical that I was a few minutes late for the lab, but in general, in went OK. Basically, it was a matter of either it was written in my notebook (the test was open book) or else I knew it really well off the top of my head. Anything else, especially things I had to think deeply about, I'm sure I missed. Including an annoying set of questions that went like this: "What is this? List 5 clues that helped you identify this." Well, I couldn't make the list because my answer to the first question was that I didn't have a clue what it was! I was so tired that I just couldn't think straight. I went home after the test, fell into bed and slept for 10 hours straight. I seem to sleep an awful lot. Can somebody tell me why studying makes me sleepy? Anyhow, it was pretty much the same for my Inverts midterm. Either I knew the information really well, or else I could think clearly enough to dredge it out of my brain. I think I did OK, not great, but OK. Hopefully that means I'll get a decent grade. Last time, when I thought I'd barely passed, I got a 93. I haven't heard yet how I did on that test or on the lab practical. But I did get my General Biology test back that I took two weeks ago. I got a 94. Yay, me! Which was why I didn't stress much on the lab practical, since I'd have to do really lousy in order to offset the two A's I have on the classroom tests. As for the other stuff, I procrastinated the website project up until the last moment, spent the last few days alternately cramming for the inverts midterm and frantically working on the project. I got it finished and handed in, done decently if not necessarily perfectly, with about 30 seconds to spare on the deadline. As for the Biology paper that was due at 5pm on Friday...well, that's another story. Not only have I not finished writing it, I actually have only just started on it. So that's my project for this weekend and I will hand it in late and take the concequences. It helps that I have the same professor for both classes and 1) knows I have ADHD and 2) thinks I'm really smart. So hopefully she won't be too hard on me for missing the deadline. As for the next week....we are on SPRING BREAK! And what wonderfully fun adventure do I have planned, you ask? Well, after I write that paper, then I'm going to catch up on my sleep. Then I plan to spend the rest of the semester catching up on my Trigonometry homework. Oh. Joy. The one important thing that is happening this week is that I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist. (I've been dealing with psychologists up until now) The entire purpose of me seeing this person is to get a perscription for medication. I'm really curious about what he'll give me. I hope it works and I hope it helps. I'll report back and let you know how it goes!

Amy
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Old 03-15-08, 06:46 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

good luck with the psychiatrist!! and well done on the tests and stuff!

i'm interested to know what you are given, because i'm hopefully getting some medication next week.
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Old 03-15-08, 08:11 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooch View Post
oy i feel your pain

one time i had a calcII, ochem, and animal physiology test in 2 days...i puked from an ulcer from drinking an obscene amount of energy drinks and i barely passed them all but i DID pass them. i wasn't diagnosed yet and i opened my books like 2 days before the last test (no not the first test that would make too much sense)

don't worry you'll do fine! just take it one day at a time
College was decades ago for me (we had no Red Bull or the like). I graduated with honors, and then completed graduate school at one of the top two universities in the country. Yet, I still have recurring nightmares about not studying until the last minute for a college or graduate school exam! Then I wake up in a panic and realize I don't have an exam. What a relief that is!


Love your last line. Here's my mantra, which is very closely related to your last line:
Grant me the Serenity to accept what I cannot change*, the Courage and Strength to change what I currently can**, and the Wisdom to discern the difference.
* The past, mistakes, the future, other's actions or thoughts, having ADHD, etc.
** What I am doing right now, where and how I use my present energy (including posititve thinking), my own current actions, modifying bADD behaviors today, etc.
Happy trails guys!
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Old 03-15-08, 08:34 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

Amy,

Be sure to mention these feelings of anxiety that you seem to be having. I get a lot of help from the Lexapro that I take, in that some of my procrastination is anxiety related. Just a thought. The stimulants are good, too, but it's also nice to take off that constant dread feeling.

Sandy
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Old 03-16-08, 01:33 AM
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Re: Locking the barn door...

I agree.
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