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Adult Diagnosis & Treatment This forum is for the discussion of issues related to the diagnosis of AD/HD

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Old 05-23-12, 10:13 AM
mrssunshine mrssunshine is offline
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Finally an answer...

I was diagnosed with ADD (inattentive) at the beginning of May, and now I feel like I can view my entire life in a new light. This diagnosis honestly explains so much of why my life has turned out the way it has, and I'm really looking forward to moving forward and finally being the person I always expected myself to be.

As a kid I was never the classic case of ADD, because I got good grades and wasn't hyper or out of control. I did well in school despite being frequently absent (1-2x a week). Things began to go downhill for me in high school, when my grades began to drop because the concepts were harder and required more than just a passing glance to learn, and because I never turned in any homework. I began to feel depressed- I was no longer known as "the smart kid", no longer at the top of my class. I was frustrated because I knew I had the ability and had no idea why I couldn't force myself to try harder. I attempted suicide my sophomore year because I was so disappointed in myself. The subsequent hospital stay scared the bejesus out of me and I just began to accept the fact that I was a slacker.

College was hell for me. I just could not handle the responsibility of being an adult and caring for myself. I stopped going to classes and basically sat in my dorm. I dropped out after a semester and a half with only one passing grade to my name. After moving back home I forced myself to go to community college and then state school, taking seven years to graduate after dropping several semesters worth of classes.

Things slowly started to unravel even further in the last few months. I got married, moved out of my parents house and to a new state with my new husband, quit my job and started law school at one of the best schools in the country. I began to find that I just could not juggle everything- I was forgetting appointments, to pay bills, to do reading assignments. My husband was getting frustrated with me because he often had to repeat himself three or more times before I understood what he was saying. He made an offhand comment about me having ADD and a lightbulb went off in my head, so I started doing research.

Everything I read described me to a T, with the exception of the hyperactive symptoms. I would ask a question and then not wait for the answer. My husband could be sitting right next to me and I would be so hyper focused on what I was reading I would not hear him talking to me. I frequently misplace EVERYTHING, and routinely end up in the wrong place when I'm driving because I do not pay attention to where I'm going. I start cooking a meal and get halfway through before I realize we don't have half of the ingredients. And on and on and on. I described it to my mother as trying to live in the middle of a packed football stadium, trying to function and concentrate with all the noise around you while having someone simultaneously tapping on your shoulder for your attention every few minutes.

When it really hit me was when I was googling around and stumbled upon an article about being gifted and having ADD. Often gifted children with ADD are recognized as neither gifted nor ADD because the two tend to cancel each other out. tIt said that frequently gifted children are not diagnosed until late in life because they can compensate while in school, but as more responsibilities get piled on they have more trouble coping with their symptoms. This perfectly described my life.

I went in for an evaluation earlier this month and it was such a relief to get those results. My psychologist said that I am both gifted and that I have moderate/severe inattentive ADD. I've been on Adderall for about two weeks and while we still need to tweak the dosage a little, I am so hopeful for the future.

Sorry this was so long, I just really love reading everyone's stories on here so I thought I should share mine. They helped me recognize that I'm not alone in this and what I thought was normal for so long doesn't have to be.
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