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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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Old 07-11-03, 08:22 AM
Jumpy Jenn Jumpy Jenn is offline
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living situation

I don't know what to do about my situation. I am 33 years old and had to move back home 1 year ago.....my dad and his wife are ready for me to move out. However, I have financial problems....writing bad checks, as well as keeping jobs. I am currently taking medicine and it's working and I have a part-time job that is sometimes full-time. My dad doesn't want to hear the words "add" whenever we talk because he thinks it's an excuse and doesn't have sympathy for me. My family and I are continuously arguing over things, I want praises for things and never get them. How do I make this living situation better? I have no support or no one in my family to talk to about my ADD since my family is fed up with me and want me to get straightened out in my life.

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Old 07-11-03, 10:17 AM
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When do you try to talk to your father about ADD? I know it's pointless for me to discuss it with my mother when she is "nagging" be about something. It just brings up even more conflict. And, it does sound like an excuse when I bring it up at those times.

Maybe you could give your father a book about ADD, like Sari Solden's Women with Attention Deficit Disorder. Maybe print stuff out that you find on line or if he uses the internet send him to sites about ADD.

My mother had a hard time buying into the whole ADD thing. There are still time that it's easier to believe that I am/was just lazy and defiant. She only began to buy into the ADD thing when by coincidence she met somebody esle who's younger daughter has ADD.
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Old 07-11-03, 11:58 AM
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Hi Jumpy Jean: Welcome to the Forums. I agree with Tara. You can try to educate your father and his wife as best you can through books on ADD and web sites. And after that, if they are not open to learning about ADD, well there is not much else you can do....except continue to e-mail them information, etc. and cotninue to bring it home... You say they would like you to get your life straightened out....what do mean by that exactly? I mean it sounds as if you starting to do this arleady....a part-time job (sometimes fulltime hours) that is working out for you is great progress, is it not? And your meds for ADD are working, right? Are you still struggling with writing bad checks? If so, perhaps you could get some support for that......(i.e. a Debtors Anonymous group or something similar)......if you do that, not only would you get support, but you might get the praise that you crave and need at home -- but that you don't seem to get at the present time....and if you want support for your ADD, perhaps check out an ADD support group in your area. In any event, you can count on lots of support here
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Old 07-11-03, 01:22 PM
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Joan has said it all in a much more elegant way than I can come close to

Welcome to the ADDforums and theres lots of support here
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Old 07-14-03, 03:30 AM
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Welcome to ADD forums. This is where you will find understanding. Your family does not understand you have 33 years to "straighten out" They think it is just a matter of getting a job and paying your bills. You are noticing some improvements so stay focused on YOU. #1 You have medication. Always take your meds and don't let them run out ! #2 You have a job. Keep this job, it is very important and will help you get out of financial trouble, and help you move out of your father's place. Do not spend any money. You do not need to buy anything to get your life straightened out. Trust me on this. In fact PM me anytime you think you need to spend money on something, I am the tightest penny pincher you will ever meet. SAVE SAVE SAVE
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Old 07-15-03, 01:29 PM
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This seems to be a good site for support even if (or especially if) you can't get any support from your family. You can't really make them understand if they aren't willing to learn about ADD or accept that you have it.
Do you have sympathetic friends you can talk with? Sometimes just talking with someone who understands or simply doesn't try to judge can be a big help. That's very important in my opinion. Keep posting on this forum. I'm sure many of us know how you feel about what's going on in your life (for example, I know how frustrating it can be having to move back home). Just remember that life can and will get better.
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