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Old 01-21-13, 11:49 PM
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Lightbulb The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil Fiore

Hello All,

Ok, so I'm pretty enamored with The Now Habit, A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play, by Dr. Neil Fiore. I don't have any relationship to him or the book other than that I paid for a few telephone sessions with him, which were helpful.

I'm convinced that his insights are the key to overcoming a procrastination habit, but I'll admit that I have not followed his advice to the letter. I've accepted the insights and incorporated them a bit into my life, and that gave me some improvement. But I need to get better at it, particularly so that I can, in fact, have some "guilt-free play," which should include (in my case, anyway) some exercise.

Is anyone interested in working through his steps with me, and maybe using this thread as a place to check in with one another and talk about what's working and what isn't?

I am currently re-reading the book and just finished the second chapter. I tracked my time all day today, as he recommends that you do for three days.

I find it interesting that the mere FACT of recording everything that I do causes me to stay on task more. If I've written down that I'll start making the bed at 8:35 am, then I don't do my usual deal where I'm making the bed, brushing my teeth, checking Facebook, feeding the cats, loading laundry, and shopping for exercise equipment online, all at once.

Anyway, anyone interested in joining me in this?

Sandy.
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Old 01-22-13, 04:23 AM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I really want to, as I am screwing up majorly with my projects. But I:

1. Haven't read or listened to the book, is it possible to skim it?
2. Have a baby. Which throws lots of spontaneity into things.
3. Have very low energy (messed up thyroid/cortisol) so pretty sluggish at the moment.

On the other hand, I have tons of guilt and turmoil from not being on task, can't relax, and completely panicked about money and making a living.

I really need to calm down, stop multi-tasking and make better use of my time. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Old 01-22-13, 06:36 AM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I'm interested, but also have not read the book mentioned. I'll try and get hold of it Sandy.
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Old 01-22-13, 11:23 AM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

Hey folks,

Check your libraries. The book was first put out in 1989. There was a re-release (in paperback) in 2007. I see it on Amazon for $10 or so, and there's a Kindle version and and audiotape. Mrs. Dobbs, when I first "read" it a few years back, I listened to the audiotable while I exercised, because I was not able then to focus long enough to read a whole book.

If you go with the audiobook route, there is some benefit to being able to see the charts that he does, just fyi. But we can work around that.

You all don't have to be caught up with me to do this with me. I'll get as much benefit from "leading" this group even if we're not all on the same page. I suppose that the only thing that I'd ask is that those who participate actually attempt to get through it, at least while we're working on it.

Right now, I'm working on tracking my time for three full days. I've got one under my belt, and already I can see that my sleep aid has me sleeping over 10 hours a night, so I'll probably cut that out and see if I can get through a full night without it, and how much sleep I need then.
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Old 01-22-13, 02:16 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

Yes, I will get my hands on it tonight.

I have a major problem with reading when it's non-interactive text or I'm not cramming for something.

I hope you get more people in your group so you can flex your leadership skills!!
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Old 01-22-13, 05:39 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I have the book. I read most of it a few years ago. One of my favorites. I was just thinking yesterday that I should reread it.

I need to reset and figure out the whole guilt-free play/unschedule stuff again. I'm not sure how we'll use this thread, but I'll check back.

I need a lunch break right now. Thinking about this book has just helped me decide to leave my desk for a few minutes. Bye!
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Old 01-22-13, 06:45 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

Quote:
I need to reset and figure out the whole guilt-free play/unschedule stuff again. I'm not sure how we'll use this thread, but I'll check back.
Yeah, String, that's my big issue, too. I'm not entirely sure how the thread will help, but I'm thinking that we can share insights into what is working for US, the ADHDer procrastinators.

So one thing that I pretty much blew off last time is the whole bit on self-talk. I'm not a warm fuzzy and I don't tend to care for warm-fuzzy approaches. I want insight. I don't care if it's delivered to me in a nice way, or if someone "hurts my feelings" in the process.

Thing is, though, when I try very hard to speak to myself in terms of "I will," "I choose," and "I would like to," I am far less resistant. I never thought that resistance was a big thing for me, but more and more, I'm beginning to think that it's a huge one. I am self-employed, now, so there's no one to "resist" anymore, other than circumstances, and yet, I still sometimes procrastinate a lot on some things.

And at the same time, I am absolute CRAP when it comes to "guilt-free play." I'm not sure that I ever knew how to do it. Seriously, I suspect that I couldn't do it even as a kid... But I really WANT (stops self from saying "need") to start exercising, because my back hurts all the time, I have high blood pressure, and I've gained weight. AND I know that it will help my brain. It's just time for me to get this **** down pat. If I don't start now, I'm heading down a road that won't be very fun for me in my 50s and 60s.

And it's time for other reasons. I'm financially stable again. My hubby is supportive. I no longer work for ******* sons of *******. I'm self-employed, so I can go for a walk in the middle of the day. There is no good reason on Earth why I am sitting at my computer, procrastinating, thinking that I can't afford to go for a walk today, and then feeling deprived.

It's time to finally whip this thing. I made it halfway before. Now it's time to kill it dead.
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Old 01-22-13, 08:29 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I've got the exercise thing down pretty well. But I do that early in the morning by myself. It's kind of fun, but not extremely recreational and not social at all.

And I used to be really good at the guilt-free play when I was younger. I didn't feel much guilt because I was always forgetting all the stuff I was supposed to be doing and spacing off into my own little world anyway. But now that I'm older and my spacing out has caused a lot of past problems, I still space off and think about play, but I seldom play. And I seldom finish any of the fun things I want to do in my life. Sometimes I'm not even sure what those are nowadays.

I'm also trying to figure out how to do the fun things in a way that will recharge me better so I'm more productive at the not-so-fun things. And I need to be way more social as part of my guilt-free play. I'm single parenting right now and need to find time for guilt-free play with the kids and making friends and even dating. I'm a little introverted. Amiable with lots of acquaintances, but kind of introverted. If I remember right, the Now Habit made a point that part of guilt-free play was often doing stuff with others.

But I think I need to look at the book again to get some ideas on how to move forward. It'll be good to discuss this with someone. Thanks for starting this thread!
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Old 01-22-13, 09:48 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

Quote:
Sometimes I'm not even sure what those are nowadays.
This is the crux of the problem for me. I come from a pretty bizarre family. There's a photo that my brother has of him and me driving these little cars at Knott's Berry Farm in Southern California, when we were kids. I'm probably 8 years old, maybe 9. He's 3 or 4. I have my hands PRECISELY at 10 and 2 and am intent on making sure that the little guide under the car never hits the metal guide in the road. My brother is looking out the side of the car, bored, obviously trying to figure out why he's there.

His caption for that is, "Two Children Who Don't Know How to Have Fun."

Bingo.

I have to (strike that), I WANT TO. I CHOOSE TO unlearn those instincts, 'cause I'm 46 years old and I don't want another 30 years of it. I want to feel good about myself for once.

BTW, just an FYI to my friends on here, that may be why I'll be in and out at bit. I'll jump in, post on something, jump back out. If you want my attention on something, please PM or VM me.

I'm very happy about Dr. Fuzzy's victory today. It is always good when one of us achieves what we set out to do, even if it comes at a cost.
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Old 01-23-13, 07:55 AM
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Smile Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

Ok, so I finished re-reading Chapter 4 on Guilt-Free Play, Quality Work last night and went to bed feeling kind of depressed that I can't come up with anything that I think of as "guilt-free play." Even when I had my horse (which is probably the thing that I love most in the world: playing with horses), I still felt guilty every time I went out there, and as a result, I didn't go much and then felt guilty about that.

I'm such a mess about this stuff.

So anyway, this morning when I couldn't sleep because I took half the dose on the sleep aid, I decided rather impulsively that I will join a neighborhood martial arts gym for three months and take every class that I can. It's $99 for the whole three months, so very reasonably priced. And the gym is about three or four blocks from our house, so within easy walking distance, even in the wintertime.

Other things that occurred to me can be guilt-free play for me right now, 'cause I'm going to have to take baby steps, here...

I like to cook, but only when I don't have to clean up. S'okay, 'cause the hubster will clean up after me if I've cooked.

I like to go grocery shopping, but not at the big stores, just the little grocery stores, like coops, and I gotta check that a bit 'cause they're REALLY expensive. But maybe I'll reward myself with guilt-free runs to Penzeys and my local coop for specialty items.

And I like planning for, making, and consuming fancy cocktails.

String, I'm kind of your opposite, actually. I'm very extroverted, and the problem that I'm having is that now that I'm self-employed, I don't see any of my chick buddies very often. They all have little kids and work in new places, so that's natural. But I find myself feeling lonely. So this morning I'm going to walk with my neighbor and her dog. Anyway, it occurs to me that you're likely best off seeking out one-on-one interactions, rather than groups, don't you think? Do you have a workout buddy, maybe?

So what do you guys do for guilt-free play? Are you able to make it truly guilt-free?

And Dr. Fuzzy, if you're checking in, my hubby was picking up my copy of The Now Habit last night and pledging to read it, because he was razzing me about how I'm trying to change my "self talk," 'cause it's supposed to help, and I said, "Yeah, big man? When last did you get me a draft brief ['cause we work together] any earlier than the day that it's due???? Hmmmmm?" He had to reluctantly admit that I'm not alone with this issue...

If Mr. Dr. Fuzzy (also Dr. Fuzzy, I guess), would be willing to pick up the book and read through it, he'll see how much his own approach to this is likely making it WORSE for you, not better.

Ok, all, signing off now. Heading to Florida tomorrow morning with some friends (we're going to DisneyWorld! ), so not sure how much I'll be able to check in, but I'll be interested to hear what insights, struggles, breakthroughs you all are having...
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Old 01-23-13, 02:22 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

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Originally Posted by Sandy4957 View Post
String, I'm kind of your opposite, actually. I'm very extroverted, and the problem that I'm having is that now that I'm self-employed, I don't see any of my chick buddies very often. They all have little kids and work in new places, so that's natural. But I find myself feeling lonely. So this morning I'm going to walk with my neighbor and her dog. Anyway, it occurs to me that you're likely best off seeking out one-on-one interactions, rather than groups, don't you think? Do you have a workout buddy, maybe?
Yeah. I've never been that good at close friendships. Then my wife left me and I realized that all of my guy friends are still married and, for some reason, that makes it a little hard because I'm now in a different situation. Not sure about an exercise partner. Although, that would probably be good. I'm starting to kind of get out more, though. I was just asked to a dinner party with some other single people.

Your guilt-free play ideas sound awesome. I think you're on the right track. I brought the book to work with me today and I'll start going through it a bit.

Another reason I'm glad to be looking at this book again is that I just started taking Ritalin (at the moment, not sure if I'm going to continue). When I'm taking Ritalin, I need to be more careful about doing the fun things. I get less spacey, but I sometimes get a little bit too serious.
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Old 01-23-13, 05:59 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I'm listening to the introduction now. I scanned the Six Warning Signs of Procrastination and it helped me realize why I am procrastinating... well, several reasons. Number five was a big one:

Quote:
5. Are you indecisive and afraid of making a mistake?
- Do you delay completing projects because you try to make
them perfect?
- Do you fear taking responsibility for decisions because you're afraid
of being blamed if some thing goes wrong?
- Do you demand perfection in your work?
- Do you expect to be above mistakes and criticism?
My number five is that my mom and sister got interested in what I was doing. My sister looked at other products of the same type and she said "oh I'm not worried you can do better than that" but the fact is I can't just yet, not enough money or the right equipment, or time. So I'm procrastinating because I feel I need to create something simpler and disappoint/not get the encouragement I need. They keep asking to see what I'm doing. I don't feel like showing it to them because they don't understand the process. In the meantime, I don't have anyone to cheer me on and I'm failing to cheer myself on. Add constant anxiety over my baby not getting enough... whatever... and it's easier to escape here to ADDF.
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Old 01-23-13, 06:09 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I'm in. I've cycled out of my latest psychiatric episode, and plan on getting back to my dissertation work tomorrow.

I also start a new part time job in under two weeks. This is the first time I'll be working in almost 5 years.

I'll get the ebook ASAP.
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Old 01-23-13, 06:36 PM
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Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

I suggest we each choose a specific colour for our posts and progress reports. I choose purple.
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Old 01-23-13, 06:52 PM
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Thumbs up Re: The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination, by Dr. Neil F

Awesome, Abi! Glad to have you and glad to hear that you're back on track (didn't know that you were off-track, but it's good to have you back anyway).

I'm down for colors, although you chose my favorite. I'll go with blue, then.

Mrs. Dobbs, this book is really the ONLY thing that I ever came across that made SENSE to me with respect to why I do what I do, and (when I did it this way) so pathologically. I knew that I didn't want to do it, but I was powerless to change it.

And like I said, just having that insight made a difference. I'm far better now than I was, but still, there are certain projects (generally ones where I worry about being "judged" by someone that I particularly respect ) that are harder for me than others.
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I was dreamin' when I wrote this. Forgive me if it goes astray. ~ 1999, Prince, 1982.

I was dreamin' when I wrote this. So sue me if I go too fast. ~ 1999, Prince, 1982.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sandy4957 For This Useful Post:
Abi (01-23-13), amberwillow (01-24-13), mrs. dobbs (01-24-13)
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