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  #16  
Old 08-21-18, 05:04 AM
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Re: Depressed

Fuzzy bear, I know you know what I am going to say....you need to see someone about this and not wait. Your happiness and life is worth more than a substandard of emotional health. Of course you need to improve your diet and exercise and all that but so do I and you know this already. I do want you to take your stimulants more consistently. Do you notice when you take them and when you dont? Life can get better. It doesnt have to be like living underwater where things sound muffled and distorted. You deserve clear and calm thinking. You deserve to hear life on life's terms. Little Fuzz deserves a happy mom. She may not know now, but she will pick up on it at some point and you do not want to alter he own view of herself because she sees mom act that way. I can only speak from a place of a mom with older kids....the relationship with a parent and child is THE most important relationship a child will ever had. It will shape the way they see others, themselves and how they fit in this world. You do not want to alter that in a way that is detrimental.
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  #17  
Old 08-21-18, 06:41 AM
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Re: Depressed

My poor Fuzz-Wuzzy is so sad and blue



I wish I knew what to do.



You are in serious need of a break. But I don't know how you can go about doing that in your current situation. There's too many stressful things in your life though...all draining the energy out of you. You're a battery running on empty...and if only you could take a bit of time to just freaking relax and do something special and fun for yourself (and maybe someone else you really enjoy being with) for a few days.

What do you think would happen if you explained to your boss that you're having a rough go of things right now...and asked them for a few days off to just catch your breath? Do you think they'd be open to the idea, or are you afraid they'd get upset in anyway?
It might be an idea if you think they'd handle it in a good way.

I really do love you Fuzz-Fuzz. In the kind of way a person luvs a fluffy teddy bear lol. <3

(((((((Fluffy-Fuzz-Fuzz)))))))
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  #18  
Old 08-21-18, 09:11 AM
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Re: Depressed

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Originally Posted by stef View Post
Fuzzy, I remember you've written about your job;
it doesn't seem fulfilling for you; can you afford to quit and find something that suits you?
even if it means a pay cut.

it's absolutely soul sucking to be pouring all of that energy into a job where you don't like the corporate culture and you don't get to do enough of the things you truly love and where your real skills can be used. ( if i remember correctly that's coding/ programmimg?)

consider part time work, i mean just from my experience full time + young child would have destroyed me, even if i loved the job.
Stef!!! Omg where have you been? How have you been?

I'm already working part time (4 days). I've discussed with hubby doing 3 days so I'd have a day just to myself (ie without fuzzling...is that horrible?). He's all for it but I'm not keen.

The truth is (and I'm super Embarrassed to admit this so thread gently please everyone): I'd love to have another baby so I'm hanging on to this job so I can get maternity leave (and because when it comes to anything maternity related tjere isn't a better employer out there).

So that's adding hugely to my stress as well. Not being sure if I could or should have another baby. My age and the risk associated with it and the fact that Im Just Not able to lose weight, which makes ttc pretty much impossible.

This is also why I'm not keen to take anti depressants. They'll take a few weeks to work and if we want to TTC then I'd have to stop again. I don't have time for any of this. I'm too old

At the same time I can't consider really having a baby till I sort out the depression.

I know this all sounds very jumbled up. It's genuinely difficult to think. I'm medicated but my mind is such a mess.
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  #19  
Old 08-21-18, 09:19 AM
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Re: Depressed

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Fuzzy bear, I know you know what I am going to say....you need to see someone about this and not wait. Your happiness and life is worth more than a substandard of emotional health. Of course you need to improve your diet and exercise and all that but so do I and you know this already. I do want you to take your stimulants more consistently. Do you notice when you take them and when you dont? Life can get better. It doesnt have to be like living underwater where things sound muffled and distorted. You deserve clear and calm thinking. You deserve to hear life on life's terms. Little Fuzz deserves a happy mom. She may not know now, but she will pick up on it at some point and you do not want to alter he own view of herself because she sees mom act that way. I can only speak from a place of a mom with older kids....the relationship with a parent and child is THE most important relationship a child will ever had. It will shape the way they see others, themselves and how they fit in this world. You do not want to alter that in a way that is detrimental.
Thanks Sarah and thanks for the affection!!

I thought I was winging rlit fairly well for fuzzling. Till recently I was able to drop the negative thoughts in her presence and just be there and have fun or whatever else was needed.

Yesterday was bad though. I just got to restless and when she took an hour for dinner again I went absolutely crazy. I just couldn't pay attention anymore and had to resort to browsing on my phone to keep myself sane. Hubby thankfully took over for the rest of the evening. But yes, so it's affecting her care now.

I fell asleep just past 10pm. Normally I browse for hours and rarely sleep before midnight or later. Yesterday I just couldn't keep my eyes open and gosh, sleeping for 7.5h makes such a huge difference. I woke up fresh. FRESH. Rested. I'd forgotten what that feels like. I actually managed to go for a run before work. I'm at work now but don't feel like **** (even though I managed to miss yet another meeting with my manager again).

I wonder if this is the answer to my problems. At least a step towards feeling better. I don't have insomnia. All it would take is to out my mobile away and sleep.

I got an appointment with my psychiatrist in three weeks luckily. I doubt they can do anything earlier. Normally an unscheduled appointment would take months to organise.
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  #20  
Old 08-21-18, 09:21 AM
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Re: Depressed

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
My poor Fuzz-Wuzzy is so sad and blue



I wish I knew what to do.



You are in serious need of a break. But I don't know how you can go about doing that in your current situation. There's too many stressful things in your life though...all draining the energy out of you. You're a battery running on empty...and if only you could take a bit of time to just freaking relax and do something special and fun for yourself (and maybe someone else you really enjoy being with) for a few days.

What do you think would happen if you explained to your boss that you're having a rough go of things right now...and asked them for a few days off to just catch your breath? Do you think they'd be open to the idea, or are you afraid they'd get upset in anyway?
It might be an idea if you think they'd handle it in a good way.

I really do love you Fuzz-Fuzz. In the kind of way a person luvs a fluffy teddy bear lol. <3

(((((((Fluffy-Fuzz-Fuzz)))))))
I did consider it yesterday but I can't do it. I just can't imagine telling anyone, let alone my boss that I'm depressed. Thankfully I don't think I'd even have to. I could just say that I need another day off to take care of fuzzling (like I said before they are super family friendly) or I could probably take some time off even if it's unpaid. I just don't want to. I don't do well at home when left to my own devices.
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  #21  
Old 08-21-18, 12:39 PM
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Re: Depressed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I just don't want to. I don't do well at home when left to my own devices.
That's why you gotta get out and go do something!
Go do some shopping for yourself. Doesn't have to be expensive...it just has to be fun! Go down the toy aisles and find something cute that you'd have LOVED as a kid...now buy it for yourself . Or a piece of jewelry, new clothes, shoes, a new hair cut or a manicure. Something fun!
And if you have the money...get away for a day or 2. Take a friend or your mom and/or dad. Do shopping in a new town and stay in a hotel away from home. Eat at at least 1 decent restaurant and just make it a short but relaxing trip! Maybe instead of shopping you can go to a museum or a live performance or something? Go souvenir shopping! I love picking up little things when I go new places.

But then...you've got so many responsibilities so it's not as easy for you to just take a break like I'm saying .
And who knows...just cause this sort of things works for me, it very well may not do much for you.

...I do agree though, I don't do well sitting around at my home either when I'm mentally unwell.
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  #22  
Old 08-21-18, 04:05 PM
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Re: Depressed

As far as meaning to start taking something but then not doing it or forgetting to take something, get yourself a 7-day container with compartments and put pills in it. I mean, it does help get organized. And check it often to make sure you're not missing doses. I keep mine right in front of the computer monitor. I would also think you should be taking an antidepressant.
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