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  #976  
Old 06-01-14, 08:31 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

It can work really well if
1) You delay telling people until they are seeing some improvements as a result of therapy and they ask you what is going on.

2) You enrol those you tell to sort of act as your unofficial ADD coach.
IE
" I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and am coming to terms with it and learning to improve my attention and organisation.
ADHD is a real problem and it requires a good deal of work to master it.
I am currently working on these problematic behaviours- (name a couple)- can you keep an eye open and let me know if you think I am making progress".

It also helps to explain that doing things like doodling in meetings will improve your focus:
http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/1952216

http://adultaddstrengths.com/2014/04...eem-want-hear/
Quote:
ADHD is a devastating hidden disability that non ADDers don’t seem to want to hear about, don’t dare to try to understand. Maybe, even understandably, can’t.


The very concept of ADHD seems to shatter non ADDers fixed, unwavering, and unflappable core belief system that: behavior is completely volitional, and that any deviation is punishable. End of subject.
http://adultaddstrengths.com/2014/02...-getting-help/

Quote:
Like any problem that people encounter, only the knowledge that comes forth from being a publicized make it possible to get help.
So- While some caution is necessary- there are real benefits in being as public as possible- both personal benefits and wider ones to other ADHD individuals.

However, as an ADHD individual who is known to be receiving treatment- it is also necessary to be an ambassador for the condition and to do as much as possible to show would be skeptics the real improvements in your function. If you are on treatment and continue to exhibit significant dysfunctional behaviours you do set a bad example.
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  #977  
Old 06-02-14, 04:44 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I personally have only talked to a few people outside my family since they were going through similar issues specifically regarding work and how our supervisors treat our limitations as flaws, while totally disregarding the things we can accomplish. It's a challenge for me and a few others at work who deal with these issues, but now with treatment hopefully we can change their perspective.

In regards to others I've told within my family, I liken it to being a mutant on X-Men. I was born this way, but it is in no ways a disability, I'm just have a different way of thinking than others, sometimes as a disadvantage, sometimes as an advantage. It's similar to how Cyclops takes off his glasses/opens his eyes and immediatly burns through walls. Sure, from a "normal" perspective, it's a limitation, but damn being able to blast things with your eyes is an awesome power regardless, right?

With ADHD it's hard to focus, but when we push yourself to focus on a few things...we can accomplish a lot regardless of how many silly hobbies we have, crazy interests we hold, half-finished home projects...the fact that we hold so much potential and can harness it with the things we like (even if it's not specifically related to work) shows that we all have a determination and drive helped by our abilities to zone in and and hyperfocus...albeit just maybe not as well as people who simply stick to one or two things, or can switch their train of thought instantly.

As an illustrator, artist, 3D animator, linguist, technician, electrician, administrator, musician, gamer, reader, geek, historian, writer, editor, speaker, trainer, collector, hobbiest...I'm happy with who I am, and ADHD made me who I am today. Sure I may not be the best at my job due to chronic boredom and stilted motivations, nor am I the best artist, writer, musician, etc...but at least I can say I enjoy many things as opposed to living a simple "normal" life.

So in my opinion, telling people about the negatives of ADHD or excusing the lack of focus/concentration/motivation as a result of ADHD will continue to give people a negative perspective on the condition, and even question if ADHD even exists. While in todays society, it's unfortunate that most people don't see the highlights of what we do and often think "Oh, Scott is just a lazy dude...he's using his ADHD excuse as an excuse to get out of work". But people will always hold negative opinions regardless of what you have, whether it's ADHD, a broken leg, anxiety, depression. But remember the few who can see past that, who helped remind you when you had a project due the following day, or that gave you words of encouragement when your boss or co-workers assumed you were a slow/unmotivated worker.

So yeah, I don't really tell people I have ADHD, and I prefer to keep it that way :P. It's better to let people see you for who you are rather than what you have.
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  #978  
Old 06-05-14, 02:36 AM
Jenn1202 Jenn1202 is offline
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I don't tell people and I generally try to hide it from friends who don't have ADD/ADHD. Some of my close friends know/figured it out. I do tell my family.
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  #979  
Old 06-10-14, 09:43 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

My parents, my boyfriend, my best friend, and my neighbor know.

They're supportive except for my neighbor. She thinks it's ridiculous.
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  #980  
Old 06-11-14, 08:33 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

When I was first diagnosed I was so happy to finally have an answer, so I told everyone who would listen. Some were interested, some couldn't care less, but most took it as if I was telling them I got a new puppy.

I don't talk it about it as much now, except with my doctor, my therapist and my mom, unless people asked and seem like they truly want to know. In some ways, I like to keep it private ... like it's my secret superhero power. But even though I'm not talking about it, it's still the single most important thing in my life.

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  #981  
Old 06-12-14, 10:06 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I was just recently diagnosed (last Friday) with ADD / ADHD. Was like having a huge weight lifted off me. I've been struggling with it my entire life and even worst, I never spoke to anyone about it. I have so many questions so I thought I'd join this forum to read everyone's opinion and experiences. At this time, I've told my wife (Who encouraged me to get help) and parents. Very apprehensive to tell anyone else.......not sure if it's necessary but perhaps it will explain a lot?????
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  #982  
Old 06-12-14, 12:04 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

You have told the important people. You shouldn't have to explain yourself to others, just work toward making yourself well. If you have have had difficulties in relationships, lost friends because of your behavior, they probably weren't very good friends anyway. As you get better, focus on the future, build new relationships and don't dwell on the past ... it's not going to change anything.

There are a lot of great people here who more than willing to help you talk through your issues ... you have everything you need

Cheers,
Greg
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  #983  
Old 06-26-14, 01:55 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I am usually extremely open about things. ADHD is very common. If people know you have ADHD, they might understand certain behaviors that would be deemed otherwise unacceptable.

I am probably more open about everything than most people but then I don't have any worries that someone will find something out. I even mentioned it in my last job interview and now I have a new job that I do not need to worry if someone finds out my deep dark secret. I do not need to hide out in the men's room to take my medication.
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  #984  
Old 07-14-14, 02:28 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I didn't really wanted to tell anyone, for I have a general fear that most people would not be that understanding, or might even think you're using it as an excuse for "bad behaviour". However there are some around me who might form their own impressions, based on their associations with me. I do not deny if they arrived at the right conclusions, but I don't go around telling.
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  #985  
Old 07-24-14, 09:17 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I have only told my closest friend because he would notice the changes when I'm on meds and might jump to conclusions (if he ends up living with me he needs to know) Also so if I end up in a medical emergency he knows to tell them I am on pills. I'm hesitant to tell many because they might tell me I''m lying because I'm not an off the walls very disruptive type (its ADD I have not ADHD so no hyper acting out). Thats what my friend did at first but then he apologised. The most distruptive I am is kicking the back of the chair quietly so I can stay still enough not to cause trouble or fustrated angry outbursts. Also worried I may not be employed if they know. Luckily my uni is okay about it and the professers that know are okay with it and only want to help. The support for students is excellent at my uni. Still unsure about telling my parents even though I need to. I guess its difficult to tell poeple I have ADD because I don't want to be seen as crazy or mentally defective. I am not dumb or difficult which some think. I don't want to place blame on the ADD but I need other to awknowledge that I can't process things like them.
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  #986  
Old 07-25-14, 06:53 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Being recently diagnosed, I haven't told anyone besides my spouse and my boss. Not to be paranoid, but disclosing our diagnosis is unlikely to help us, but I can see some ways it can be used against us. Of course, there are exceptions - I decided to be proactive with my boss before he started asking "what's been going on in the past 2 months?" kind of questions; he appreciated the honesty and shared a few of his life's stories that strikingly resembled mine, and admitted that he probably just being in a denial that he has the same condition - just in a less severe form.
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  #987  
Old 07-25-14, 07:30 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Good question. really not quite sure. Recently diagnosed with this what ever we deem it is. Have struggled most of my life and at 60 only finally coming to some sort of what should I call it. unable to cope sometimes.

Have also recently returned back to school after 30 years out of the academic circle and I am really struggling through classes with trying to stay focused and attentive to whats happening around me. Is medication the answer to this problem at this late in the game of life?

Any and all suggestions welcome!!
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  #988  
Old 07-31-14, 07:57 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Hardly ever nowadays. But everyone knows anyway.
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  #989  
Old 07-31-14, 10:31 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

For me it always comes back to "why am I telling someone". In my current job, it helped to educate my office mate about ADD, and we have a better working relationship for it. When working with a client, I'll often preface a conversation with a reassurance that my ability to pay attention is in no way affected by the importance of what I'm trying to listen to, so if I drift off and need something repeated, it's BECAUSE what they say is important to me, not because I can't be bothered to listen.

That being said, there are certain people I don't talk about it with, simply because I know they'd be something other than receptive/supportive.

I've learned that a lot can depend on how I spin it though... I try to start the conversation with why I'm telling them, and try to keep the conversation to more practical "If you see X, it helps to do Y. If I ____, please draw my attention to it by saying _____" Aside from the practical, I usually let them guide the conversations, and just make it known that I'm receptive to being asked any question but reserve the right not to answer. :-)

There's actually a three column table I've printed off for clients that I found quite helpful:

"How to offer support"

| Don't | Why | Do |

Basically start with an action or phrase which isn't supportive, explain how it affects you, and offer an alternative course of action. Often people miss one part of the three, and I find that causes a lot of the frustrations we see :-)

There's also a program in Australia called "Coming Out Proud" that is designed to help people with mental health issues figure out how much disclosure they're ready for, how to pick the right audience, and how to shape the story to get the best outcomes.

I always try to remember a Russian expression my wife told me: "Words aren't like birds; you can't put them back in the cage once you've let them out"
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  #990  
Old 08-02-14, 08:33 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Yes I do
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