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  #151  
Old 08-02-11, 11:53 PM
gramatiklove gramatiklove is offline
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I'm so sorry for your loss. Here's an Irish poem that always helps me get through a hard loss..
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there... I do not sleep.
I am the thousand winds that blow...
I am the diamond glints on snow...
I am the sunlight on ripened grain...
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you waken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of gentle birds in circling flight...
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry—
I am not there... I did not die...
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  #152  
Old 08-07-11, 05:27 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Dear Esh, I don't know how to start. Suppose I start with Rumi.

When I read:

I do not regret how much I have loved,
And I avoid those who repent their passion.

Hundreds of sweethearts,
I am the lover and the one lovers long for.
Blue and a cure for blues,
Sky in a small cage.

Badly hurt, but flying.
Everybody's scandalous flaw is mine.

Reminded me of something you said, that's stuck with me, "remember this, make the most out of every opportunity to love somebody. Your time will never be wasted if you love somebody."

You had so much conviction.

With You Here Between Lovers work,
so that when body and soul are no longer together,
their loving will be free.

Wash in wisdom-water, so you will have no regrets
about the time here.

Love is the vital core of the soul,
and of all you see, only love is infinite.

Your non-existence before you were born
is the sky in the east.

Your death is the western horizon,
with you here between.

The way leads neither east nor west,
but in.
Test your love-wings and make them strong.
Forget the ideas of religious ladders.
Love is the roof.
Your senses are waterspouts.

Drink rain directly off the roof.
Waterspouts are easily damaged
and often must be replaced.

Say this poem in your chest.
Don’t worry how it sounds
going through your mouth.

A human body is a bow.
Breathing and speech are arrows.

When the quiver and arrows are used up or lost,
there is nothing more for the bow to do.

-Rumi

I thought of sharing it with you. By the time I was actually at a sharing place, well, I got the news. I barely knew you but all the love I have, I still loved you with it. Think you for sharing yours with the world.
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  #153  
Old 09-19-11, 11:40 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Esh

I miss you an dyour honesty and the UNAPOLOGETIC way you chose to be yourself, and show yourself.
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Last edited by APSJ; 09-19-11 at 02:40 PM..
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  #154  
Old 09-20-11, 09:24 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I still think about you Esh and your Gratefulness video. I felt so special. I was barely on this Forum, and you mentioned my username. The video itself inspires me to feel grateful to this day. It's hard for me sometimes, but Song of Mercy's thread helps. I don't understand my tears now, but I'm so amazed at you and how you did that video given your suffering. You're inspiring.
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  #155  
Old 10-11-11, 04:33 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I hardly knew Esh, but I know others of you who hurt from the loss. And I have learned a few things about loss. I hope you're all mending your hearts from this.
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  #156  
Old 10-25-11, 04:25 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I miss you Shane. You're one of the best friends I've ever had.
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  #157  
Old 10-25-11, 04:28 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Miss you buddy. Wish I'd had the opportunity to know more about you than I did.... but I'm grateful for the times with did share together.

-Cipher
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  #158  
Old 10-25-11, 04:51 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam



x
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  #159  
Old 10-25-11, 08:33 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

One I wish I'd shared when you were here.



FROM MYSELF I am copper,
through You, friend, I am gold.
From myself I'm a stone, but
through You I am a gem!
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  #160  
Old 10-25-11, 07:05 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I don't know how you did it Esh. You were able to be grateful under terrible circumstances. I'm finding it hard to be grateful in my current state. I guess I admire and look up to you. I wish I could talk to you about it.
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  #161  
Old 10-25-11, 09:00 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I wanted to add this: Esh and I used to talk about rhythm-type games on Steam.

When Beat Hazard Ultra was released, I was all "I want to mention this to Esh" and then I was because I remembered.

Not the only moment, but that's the kind of thing that makes death real to me.
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  #162  
Old 11-18-11, 08:13 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I have not been on here in a long time, but after getting a message saying he had died today, I wanted to see here what had happened.

Me and Esh got on and were friends but a long while ago something did happen, but I won't forget how nice he was to me, how he made me laugh and smile, how he wanted so much to give me hope, how he was there for me, he was awfully funny, but at the same time, seriously sensitive. He was loving, he only wanted the best for others, he cared an awful lot, he saw the good, and even though he was in pain, he still tried to put a smile on others faces.

I truly hope he is at peace now. He suffered for a long time, and peace is what he deserves. Happiness, peace, and rest.

May you find these Esh.

You'll forever be loved, not even death can tear apart the connection of love.

Peri, here if you need me.
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  #163  
Old 01-09-12, 02:10 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

... And all of the darkness in the world can never extinguish the light of a single candle.

I'm sorry.
(I don't know what to say other than that)
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... You have been warned.
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  #164  
Old 02-06-12, 12:48 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

To Esh





There's a natural mystic blowing through the air;

If you listen carefully now you will hear.
This could be the first trumpet, might as well be the last:
Many more will have to suffer,
Many more will have to die - don't ask me why.

Things are not the way they used to be,
I won't tell no lie;
One and all have to face reality now.
'Though I've tried to find the answer to all the questions they ask.
'Though I know it's impossible to go livin' through the past -
Don't tell no lie.
There's a natural mystic blowing through the air -
Can't keep them down -
If you listen carefully now you will hear.

There's a natural mystic blowing through the air.

This could be the first trumpet, might as well be the last:
Many more will have to suffer,
Many more will have to die - don't ask me why.

There's a natural mystic blowing through the air -
I won't tell no lie;
If you listen carefully now you will hear:
There's a natural mystic blowing through the air.
Such a natural mystic blowing through the air;
There's a natural mystic blowing through the air;
Such a natural mystic blowing through the air;
Such a natural mystic blowing through the air;
Such a natural mystic blowing through the air.
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  #165  
Old 02-06-12, 12:51 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

To Esh

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