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Non-ADD Partner Support This is a support forum for non-ADD partners, spouses, and significant others offering feedback from both the ADD and non-ADD perspectives

 
 
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Old 12-04-18, 11:33 AM
MommingTooMuch MommingTooMuch is offline
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Resentment

First of all I want to thank everyone that has been giving their time and experience helping me understand and gain perspective on adhd and relationships.

I have taken the initiative to seek out therapy for myself. I am also planning to initiate couples counseling soon.

My question today is how do you, as the non-add partner, deal with the resentment you foster. Today is a good example of how my resentment is created and maintained in my marriage. The alarm goes off in the morning. I get up, he does not. I get the kids ready while he starts to wake. I drive kids to school while he takes 30-45 minutes in the bathroom. I get morning chores done around farm. Lastly I do the best I can not to yell at him for not helping. It is very difficult because I am truly angry and exhausted.

He gets to sleep in, relax and have a comfy morning routine at my expense. I know he does not see it this way. If I say anything we will have an argument. So I move forward with my day, feeling unhappy. I try all day to do my best to be a good mother, sister, friend and wife.

As with the morning, we have a similar dinnertime routine. I make dinner and get kids to bed while he plays with his phone and goes to bathroom again. Then at bedtime the phone is often out again. I go to sleep and ask that he please turn the light off so he does not keep me awake.

So for my own mental health I want to deal with the anger and resentment I have at his lack of initiative. It is something I hold against him and often causes me to snap at him or yell. I want to work on this in therapy. Any tips/suggestions from your experiences. Also would love thoughts from adhd partners so I can get some perspective.

Best to all of you.
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