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Desoxyn methamphetamine hydrochloride (also known as desoxyephedrine)

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  #16  
Old 11-12-17, 11:13 PM
CharlesH CharlesH is offline
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Re: Complicated Situation

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Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
@sarahsweets

I dont wanna be mean or start an argument so.......assumptions make an *** out of........the end.
sarahsweets has a good reputation on this forum. It doesn't mean she's going to be correct all the time - in this situation, I think she's being more skeptical of you that I am. For online support forums in general, I think we normally should take the OP's word at face value, otherwise it's just too difficult to give meaningful advice if we're always busy second guessing each other. On the other hand, I can see why it can be difficult for people with substance abuse history to be accurate self-evaluators. She has personal experience with substance abuse, whereas I don't.

What I can say with more certainty is that medical research consistently shows that people who take stimulants for the purposes of treating ADHD are able to stay on consistent, reasonable dosages. People who take stimulants in order to get and remain high constantly need to increase their dosages to unreasonably high dosages, and they abuse the route of administration.

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Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
@CharlesH

Yup I live with my parents right now trying to get my life together so they will be able to keep an eye on me. Ill definitely bring that up.

I do have tons of emotional baggage, but I know why and have talked about it to death. What I need more than anything right now is energy, clarity and focus so I can be productive as my lack of career weighs on me more than anything.

Thanks again for the oodles of good advice.
Just remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint! Your parents can be a good source of support and, most importantly, accountability (which people with ADHD really need). With the psychiatrist, focus on how ADHD is impacting your life (work, school, personal relations, self-care, etc), why you think medication will help your ADHD and improve your life, and why he should be able to trust you and hold you accountable with medication. I know it's frustrating for you, but remember that you're asking him to take a big risk in terms of his professional liability. Keep us updated
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  #17  
Old 11-13-17, 12:20 AM
bothandneither bothandneither is offline
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Re: Complicated Situation

My problem with sarahsweet's post is the problem I have with most everyone around me. They are telling me how I feel. There's other issues too but there's no need to go into it.

My self-awareness level is fine. I dunno how to objectively prove that, but Im more than willing to take MRI's and do cognitive testing for any doctor if necessary and have said this many times to those around me.

I can prove this kinda but won't do it here. My dosage of methamphetamine was always consistent and never increased over the three years I did it.

There's the thread 'the holy grail, deoxsyn journal'. His experience is exactly mine. The 'high' is barely perceptible, It makes me feel like me, and gives me the energy to participate in life and not feel constantly repressed. I think I said this already, but it was never about fun, only about normalcy. I hate so much that right now I can barely move and can't concentrate on anything. It makes my depression even worse. I want to be productive and love life so much but I can't. It's impossible to describe why I can't right now, I just can't. It's hellish.
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  #18  
Old 11-13-17, 02:03 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

bothandneither, I'll take you at your word.

Years ago, I was a self-medicator. Amphetamine wasn't my drug of choice, but I tried both (pharmaceutical) Dexedrine and Desoxyn, and ironically, did not like them. That was years before my ADHD diagnosis.

I will just say this...be open and honest with your doctor about your choices, and what motivated them, and your experiences.

Don't go in asking for any medication, least of all Desoxyn.

The goal is your well-being. Medication may be part of that, and indeed, likely will be. At this point, however, allow a clinician the opportunity to evaluate your situation with as much information as possible, and make decisions based on that.

And if that doesn't work right out of the gate, that's okay. You'll give feedback and things will be adjusted. It is beneficial to develop a long-term relationship with a clinician.

I did and I've never been on such a good course of treatment in my life, despite my decade-plus of drug use and abuse.


Cheers,
Ian
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  #19  
Old 11-13-17, 02:39 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

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Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
My problem with sarahsweet's post is the problem I have with most everyone around me. They are telling me how I feel. There's other issues too but there's no need to go into it.
We all have a natural need to feel validated by others, and it must be frustrating to you when others don't believe you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
My self-awareness level is fine. I dunno how to objectively prove that, but Im more than willing to take MRI's and do cognitive testing for any doctor if necessary and have said this many times to those around me.

I can prove this kinda but won't do it here. My dosage of methamphetamine was always consistent and never increased over the three years I did it.
Yeah, it's probably best to not post too many personal details about illicit use. If it matters to you, I think that the account that you've provided makes sense. None of us can know 100% that you're telling the truth, but what you're saying seems consistent with someone who was self-medicating for ADHD.

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Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
There's the thread 'the holy grail, deoxsyn journal'. His experience is exactly mine. The 'high' is barely perceptible, It makes me feel like me, and gives me the energy to participate in life and not feel constantly repressed. I think I said this already, but it was never about fun, only about normalcy. I hate so much that right now I can barely move and can't concentrate on anything. It makes my depression even worse. I want to be productive and love life so much but I can't. It's impossible to describe why I can't right now, I just can't. It's hellish.
Your psychiatrist diagnosed you with ADHD, which means that he recognizes that ADHD significantly impairs your life functioning in at least two different settings. He prescribed you Vyvanse, so he recognizes that Vyvanse can be an effective treatment for ADHD. My guess is that he would be okay with prescribing you Vyvanse again, provided that you can show him that you're now clean, and that you can be objectively held accountable to take the medication as instructed and stay clean.

It's super common for ADHD to cause symptoms of depression. In that regard, stimulants can raise your mood indirectly by removing the debilitating effects of ADHD. In general, stimulants can also raise your mood directly, regardless of whether or not one has ADHD, but this effect is not stable, and to maintain the effect requires constantly raising the dose and abusing the route of administration. That distinction might seem subtle, but it's really important.

Just explain how your ADHD causes you to be depressed, and how stimulants that treat your ADHD allow you to be not depressed.

Last edited by CharlesH; 11-13-17 at 02:52 AM..
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  #20  
Old 11-13-17, 02:45 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

Man that's a simple way to say it. I did email him on Friday so hopefully he replies tomorrow or day after.

I was just venting, but thanks for taking it seriously and offering further advice. I will definitely keep ya posted.
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  #21  
Old 11-13-17, 06:11 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
@sarahsweets

I dont wanna be mean or start an argument so.......assumptions make an *** out of........the end.
Look, you are the one convinced that you need one certain drug not me.
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  #22  
Old 11-13-17, 06:26 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Look, you are the one convinced that you need one certain drug not me.
If you read my posts again you'll find that's not true.
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  #23  
Old 11-13-17, 07:13 AM
CharlesH CharlesH is offline
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Re: Complicated Situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Look, you are the one convinced that you need one certain drug not me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
If you read my posts again you'll find that's not true.
sarahsweets - the OP also mentioned methylphenidate and modafinil as medications that he'd be happy to try.

bothandneither - How's your sleep in general? Lol at us, staying up all night. Unfortunately, chronic sleep issues seem to be par for the course with ADHD.
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  #24  
Old 11-13-17, 07:30 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

Ha yup. Terrible sleep patterns. No matter what I can get to sleep till 6am. Tried melatonin and it doesn't work for me. It's terrible.

I'm gonna be honest and say I do have cravings for an amphetamine, but if I have all the symptoms of ADHD and if my dosage stayed linear (I know this was a backwards was to diagnos but I feel like its the strongest proof of my adhd), is it bad that I crave it? It fixes me. My depression and lack of energy dissappear and that's what I want more than anything.

It's hard to describe but I was just about to become the person I wanted to be and I want that back.

So is it bad to want that? Or does this sound like drug seeking behavior?
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  #25  
Old 11-13-17, 08:26 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

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Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
If you read my posts again you'll find that's not true.
OMG I am so sorry. I totally missed that and got hung up on the meth and desoxyn. Its the addict wanting to keep it real in me. Sorry about that.
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