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  #1  
Old 12-26-08, 05:01 PM
powder powder is offline
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Finally the answer

Hi All

At last I have discovered what is wrong with me. If only I could have been told earlier.

My life has been one disaster to another. I have always felt I am different from everybody else and it's such a relief to discover why I behave as I do.

I'm 31 year old male from the UK. I have been diagnosed with ADD just over a month ago. But before this I have been told I had many different conditions depression, anxiety, substance abuse, gambling problems you name it the DR's have said I had it. I am so desperate to be part of a group that I started to lie about my symptoms just to fit into one of the above groups. But inside I never was convinced, I always felt there was something else, something the DR's had missed.

From the age of 4 to 18 my parents have kept all of my school reports as them knew something wasn't right with me. All the reports said was "Doesn't Listen", "Won't shut up", "constantly craving attention" , "always disruptive", "can't sit still".

By the age of 15 I has hooked on gambling and the buzz that it gave, I loved anything in life that was risky. I loved to see how far I could push the teachers, this gave me a buzz. I only did well in subjects at school that I really enjoyed, anything I didn't enjoy I just ignored and couldn't focus on. I had lots of "associates" at school but not close friends. I was told I was weird at school, I just didn't find people that interesting.

At 19 I discovered amphetimins (Speed) this at long last made me feel normal and made life seem interesting. I stopped this as didn't like the come downs. At 21 I had a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed with depression and panic disorder. After that I went for rehab for alcohol abuse, but even without alcohol I didn't feel normal and felt something was missing.

I then at 24 went to college and studied computer science, I finally found something I was good at.I worked my nuts off and passed with a distinction and was top of the class.

I have never been able to have a long term relationship, I struggle to relate to people and most women think I'm weird. I just don't know how to act in relationships it seems alien to me.

After 8 years on antidepressants and still no closer to being happy. I discovered cocaine at the age 28. This again made me feel normal and i was able to talk to people and I found life more interesting. But that got out of hand and went back into rehab 3 months ago. Again after a month i started to feel healthy but still felt like there was something else.

I was monitored by a psychiatrist for the 6 weeks, when he started to think about ADD, after various test and my school reports and all the notes he has taken over the past 8 years he diagnosed ADD.

I have been put on concerta xl 36mg each morning. This has instantly changed my life, my home is now clean and tidy, I wash each day clean my teeth each day, all the small things i used to ignore before being on the concerta xl. People are more interesting as I can hold my focus without my mind wandering off mid conversation.

I have now brought 2 books about adult ADD to learn as much as I can about it. I understand I need to make drastic changes to my daily routines, can anybody point me in the right direction and what to start on first. ??

Thanks a lot.
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Old 12-26-08, 06:02 PM
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Re: Finally the answer

Welcome to the forums.
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  #3  
Old 12-27-08, 07:44 AM
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Re: Finally the answer

Welcome to the forums powder.

We will be happy to be of service to you.
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Old 12-27-08, 08:08 AM
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Re: Finally the answer

Quote:
Originally Posted by powder View Post
Hi All

At last I have discovered what is wrong with me. If only I could have been told earlier.

My life has been one disaster to another. I have always felt I am different from everybody else and it's such a relief to discover why I behave as I do.

I'm 31 year old male from the UK. I have been diagnosed with ADD just over a month ago. But before this I have been told I had many different conditions depression, anxiety, substance abuse, gambling problems you name it the DR's have said I had it. I am so desperate to be part of a group that I started to lie about my symptoms just to fit into one of the above groups. But inside I never was convinced, I always felt there was something else, something the DR's had missed.

From the age of 4 to 18 my parents have kept all of my school reports as them knew something wasn't right with me. All the reports said was "Doesn't Listen", "Won't shut up", "constantly craving attention" , "always disruptive", "can't sit still".

By the age of 15 I has hooked on gambling and the buzz that it gave, I loved anything in life that was risky. I loved to see how far I could push the teachers, this gave me a buzz. I only did well in subjects at school that I really enjoyed, anything I didn't enjoy I just ignored and couldn't focus on. I had lots of "associates" at school but not close friends. I was told I was weird at school, I just didn't find people that interesting.

At 19 I discovered amphetimins (Speed) this at long last made me feel normal and made life seem interesting. I stopped this as didn't like the come downs. At 21 I had a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed with depression and panic disorder. After that I went for rehab for alcohol abuse, but even without alcohol I didn't feel normal and felt something was missing.

I then at 24 went to college and studied computer science, I finally found something I was good at.I worked my nuts off and passed with a distinction and was top of the class.

I have never been able to have a long term relationship, I struggle to relate to people and most women think I'm weird. I just don't know how to act in relationships it seems alien to me.

After 8 years on antidepressants and still no closer to being happy. I discovered cocaine at the age 28. This again made me feel normal and i was able to talk to people and I found life more interesting. But that got out of hand and went back into rehab 3 months ago. Again after a month i started to feel healthy but still felt like there was something else.

I was monitored by a psychiatrist for the 6 weeks, when he started to think about ADD, after various test and my school reports and all the notes he has taken over the past 8 years he diagnosed ADD.

I have been put on concerta xl 36mg each morning. This has instantly changed my life, my home is now clean and tidy, I wash each day clean my teeth each day, all the small things i used to ignore before being on the concerta xl. People are more interesting as I can hold my focus without my mind wandering off mid conversation.

I have now brought 2 books about adult ADD to learn as much as I can about it. I understand I need to make drastic changes to my daily routines, can anybody point me in the right direction and what to start on first. ??

Thanks a lot.
You lucky sod- it took me till age 46 to make the breakthrough. I'm not complaining thoug- the great thing about beating your head against a brick wall is it feels so good when you stop

Look carefully at the social stuff though. We are social beings and feel best when we relate to others. Just because this has been a problem in the past- don't give up when success is in sight. It was always a mystery to me why I did so horribly in this area. Now I just keep 2 things in mind-
Treat others as I would wish to be treated myself, and "keep them talking". The longer I hold the conversation on to the interests of the person I am talking to - the better the interaction. I try to make a personal challenge of it.
I know I have commented that ADHD people are the most interesting- but it helps me to try to make a challenge of finding the interesting points of all people I meet.
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  #5  
Old 01-12-09, 06:23 AM
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Re: Finally the answer

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Old 01-12-09, 11:59 AM
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Re: Finally the answer

Hi and welcome! You'll find really great people and advice here.
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Hope does not disappoint!!
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Old 01-12-09, 12:20 PM
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Re: Finally the answer

Welcome, glad to have you!
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