ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > CO-EXISTING CONDITIONS > Depression
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #16  
Old 02-24-18, 04:47 PM
ian991 ian991 is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Zadar
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
ian991 will become famous soon enough
Re: just another vent

Crap,
I can only imagine how hard it is for you. Just hang in there and try to move on. That's really hard, but it's up to you to make it easier. I was just watching this video and thought you might like it

We're here for you <3 <3


Last edited by namazu; 03-04-18 at 11:53 PM.. Reason: fixed URL -- use http rather than https for YouTube videos
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ian991 For This Useful Post:
psychopathetic (02-24-18)
  #17  
Old 02-25-18, 12:38 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,795
Thanks: 30,396
Thanked 16,046 Times in 7,964 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

Thank you Ian...

(((((((Ian)))))))

That video is so spot on. Thank you for sharing it.

...
It's been a month since I posted this, and though it's been rough...I do continue to push forward. I started taking a mood stabilizer which really helps keep me from hitting too low with depression, and it's finally just started to work within this last week or 2...so that's a huge relief.
I'm also still attending my group which meets 3 times a week. I kinda wish we could meet 5 times lol...it's just so nice having something constructive and productive to do in my life right now.
And my thoughts of suicide have all but disappeared for now. Not that I was suicidal when I first typed up this thread...but those thoughts...that tug...was right there on the edge.

I've still got a lot of things to take care of. But I'm just kinda taking things slow right now. Just getting through 1 day after another. I do think things are going to work themselves out, and that my future will be better...but I'm just being slow.

I still miss my mom . Everyday. It hits me out of the blue...the pain. The anger. The fear. I weep, or I call out to her, or I moan out loud.
Oh how I miss you mom :*(.
Life just feels like it'd be all fixed up again if only she was still here. My heart feels broken, and I can't shake the feeling that things can never be the same again.

But I am moving on.
And at the end of the day...I can't help but be thankful. I'm spoiled in many ways in life...I''ve been given, and continue to get, SO much help in life that it's almost not fair. I realize that there's TONS of people far more deserving of the kinds of help I get...that will never get it, and it's sad to me. I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. I just feel guilty for having such a privileged life.

Anyhow, sorry for the long *** reply haha >.<''.

Just wanted to thank you...and went off into a ramble like I often do!

(((((((Hugs)))))))

P.S.
I did a search for Zadar on google and youtube...and holy freaking heck! What a BEAUTIFUL city!!
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 03-26-19, 04:01 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,795
Thanks: 30,396
Thanked 16,046 Times in 7,964 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

It's been over a year since I posted this.
It's been a very long year.

I remember making a sort of promise to myself at the end of 2017...the year my mom passed away, and around the time my dad moved 550 miles away.
I told myself I wasn't going to live past 2018. There was hope in that statement...relief.

Well here I am. 2018 has come and has gone...and here I am.

A lot has changed. A lot hasn't.
I still miss my mom something fierce. There's not a single day that goes by that I don't think of her. My heart still drops from time to time.
And yet, it hasn't been so frequent these last few months.

I'm still part of the group. It started as 3 days a week, then dropped to 2 days and here soon will be just 1 day a week. It's had many ups and downs...yet I've been very consistent in attending and have kept to my commitments.

I literally fired my case manager...who co-runs the group...as he was a VERY negative force in my life. I still have to deal with him with the group...but I don't let his opinions and thoughts weigh me down like I did when he had power over me. I'm able to brush him off now.

I'm still unemployed. Still haven't started volunteering. It's something that's been on my mind a lot...and yet I feel a great deal of reluctance to jump into it that I can't quite figure out. It's like I know that it'll be great for me, will do tons to improve my moods and once I start I'm very likely to be glad I did...and yet for whatever reason...I just don't want to.

I still struggle with hygiene and laundry.

I've still got a lot of health issues...and yet I've improved as of late. I've lost some weight...a year ago it was impossible to button up my shirts. Today I was not only able to button up one of those shirts, but there was looseness there too.
A month ago, when I got my blood sugars checked...they were at 7.7. That's as low as they've been when checked. Usually it's at 10-12.
My thyroid levels continue to decrease (I have hypothyroidism).
And I have sleep apnea. It's now been 5 or 6 months since I've been on a CPAP machine...and not 1 single night has been passed where I haven't used it.
I still have serious issues with insomnia...falling asleep...but damn! When I DO fall asleep...I'm getting some of the greatest sleep I've gotten in my life.
And I've never in my life been as consistent with taking my meds as I have bee these past 4 or more months.

My bedroom is still a mess. I've taken some further steps back this past month too.
But my living room and kitchen are damned cute.
I still have all my Christmas decorations (including my tree!) up haha.

My moods still fluctuate. The joys (/sarcasm) of bi-polar.

And you know?
Through all the ups...through all the downs.
I'm still here.
Nothing really else to say.

(((((((Hugs)))))))
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
aeon (03-26-19), Fuzzy12 (03-27-19), Little Missy (03-26-19), namazu (03-26-19), Rebelyell (03-26-19), stef (03-26-19)
Sponsored Links
  #19  
Old 03-26-19, 11:26 AM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 19,901
Thanks: 21,664
Thanked 26,913 Times in 12,558 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

Oh gosh, it's good to see you.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
aeon (03-26-19), Little Missy (03-26-19)
  #20  
Old 03-26-19, 02:27 PM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 24,438
Thanked 22,379 Times in 12,051 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

It is!
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Little Missy For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (03-26-19)
  #21  
Old 03-26-19, 03:09 PM
aeon's Avatar
aeon aeon is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The North...Minnesota!
Posts: 9,051
Thanks: 26,403
Thanked 14,983 Times in 6,694 Posts
aeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
A month ago, when I got my blood sugars checked...they were at 7.7. That's as low as they've been when checked. Usually it's at 10-12.
That's tremendous psycho...take a moment to really be proud of yourself.

Cheers,
Ian
__________________
@>~,~~'~ Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
“Well, look who I ran into,” crowed Coincidence. “Please,” flirted Fate, “this was meant to be.”
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to aeon For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (03-26-19)
  #22  
Old 03-27-19, 04:17 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 28,621
Thanks: 5,802
Thanked 33,094 Times in 15,350 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
But my living room and kitchen are damned cute.
I still have all my Christmas decorations (including my tree!) up haha.
I can attest to this!
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 03-27-19, 04:41 AM
Fuzzy12's Avatar
Fuzzy12 Fuzzy12 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 20,283
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 32,681
Thanked 30,768 Times in 14,149 Posts
Fuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
It's been over a year since I posted this.
It's been a very long year.

I remember making a sort of promise to myself at the end of 2017...the year my mom passed away, and around the time my dad moved 550 miles away.
I told myself I wasn't going to live past 2018. There was hope in that statement...relief.

Well here I am. 2018 has come and has gone...and here I am.

A lot has changed. A lot hasn't.
I still miss my mom something fierce. There's not a single day that goes by that I don't think of her. My heart still drops from time to time.
And yet, it hasn't been so frequent these last few months.

I'm still part of the group. It started as 3 days a week, then dropped to 2 days and here soon will be just 1 day a week. It's had many ups and downs...yet I've been very consistent in attending and have kept to my commitments.

I literally fired my case manager...who co-runs the group...as he was a VERY negative force in my life. I still have to deal with him with the group...but I don't let his opinions and thoughts weigh me down like I did when he had power over me. I'm able to brush him off now.

I'm still unemployed. Still haven't started volunteering. It's something that's been on my mind a lot...and yet I feel a great deal of reluctance to jump into it that I can't quite figure out. It's like I know that it'll be great for me, will do tons to improve my moods and once I start I'm very likely to be glad I did...and yet for whatever reason...I just don't want to.

I still struggle with hygiene and laundry.

I've still got a lot of health issues...and yet I've improved as of late. I've lost some weight...a year ago it was impossible to button up my shirts. Today I was not only able to button up one of those shirts, but there was looseness there too.
A month ago, when I got my blood sugars checked...they were at 7.7. That's as low as they've been when checked. Usually it's at 10-12.
My thyroid levels continue to decrease (I have hypothyroidism).
And I have sleep apnea. It's now been 5 or 6 months since I've been on a CPAP machine...and not 1 single night has been passed where I haven't used it.
I still have serious issues with insomnia...falling asleep...but damn! When I DO fall asleep...I'm getting some of the greatest sleep I've gotten in my life.
And I've never in my life been as consistent with taking my meds as I have bee these past 4 or more months.

My bedroom is still a mess. I've taken some further steps back this past month too.
But my living room and kitchen are damned cute.
I still have all my Christmas decorations (including my tree!) up haha.

My moods still fluctuate. The joys (/sarcasm) of bi-polar.

And you know?
Through all the ups...through all the downs.
I'm still here.
Nothing really else to say.

(((((((Hugs)))))))
that's amazing changes and improvements psycho. Huge pats on your back!! I guess also how that you are finally getting better quality sleep it probably improves other areas of your life as well. Well done.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 03-27-19, 09:20 AM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 19,901
Thanks: 21,664
Thanked 26,913 Times in 12,558 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: just another vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post

I've still got a lot of health issues...and yet I've improved as of late. I've lost some weight...a year ago it was impossible to button up my shirts. Today I was not only able to button up one of those shirts, but there was looseness there too.
A month ago, when I got my blood sugars checked...they were at 7.7. That's as low as they've been when checked. Usually it's at 10-12.
My thyroid levels continue to decrease (I have hypothyroidism).
And I have sleep apnea. It's now been 5 or 6 months since I've been on a CPAP machine...and not 1 single night has been passed where I haven't used it.
I still have serious issues with insomnia...falling asleep...but damn! When I DO fall asleep...I'm getting some of the greatest sleep I've gotten in my life.
And I've never in my life been as consistent with taking my meds as I have bee these past 4 or more months.



(((((((Hugs)))))))
Just did some reading on c-pap and if you've lost 10% of your body weight
you may need to adjust the settings.

I've been on Levothyroid for 2 months. I go back to the doc in about 3 weeks
for followup on c-pap and thyroid. Hope I get good news too.

I sure thought you'd been on a c-pap longer than 6 months, but that's probably
right. I've been using mine since the end of Feb, so just one month. I didn't
think I was going to stick with it until you explained how to turn the pressure
down. We're not supposed to do that, but I would have stopped using it if not
for that. Thank you.

I had a disturbing phone call from the people who provide my c-pap through
Medicare saying that they didn't have results for enough nights. Finally sorted
out that I wasn't supposed to turn the damn thing off every morning as I tried
to figure out where best to have it set up. Nothing in my paperwork said it had
to be on 24/7, but the woman insisted I should have known.

I didn't think to ask if we're supposed to notify them when we go on a trip and
unplug and pack it. Gah! We had a lovely vacation in California but I was so
exhausted the first night from traveling with a sprained knee that I was too
wiped out to unpack the thing and get it set up the first night.

But she finally admitted that for the last 9 days my reports had been very good.
Really good. Wearing the mask for around 10 hours per night, although nothing
was said about waking up several times and taking awhile to fall back asleep.

I did ask to switch from a full face mask to a nasal mask. That helped a lot.
But I didn't have it positioned right the first few nights and had a lot of air leak.
I had to look online to find out how to position it properly. That air leak was
waking me up and keeping me awake, so I'm glad that's sorted out.

__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 04-04-19, 12:44 AM
Lloyd_ Lloyd_ is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Athens, AL
Posts: 330
Thanks: 5
Thanked 350 Times in 171 Posts
Lloyd_ is a glorious beacon of lightLloyd_ is a glorious beacon of lightLloyd_ is a glorious beacon of lightLloyd_ is a glorious beacon of lightLloyd_ is a glorious beacon of lightLloyd_ is a glorious beacon of light
Re: just another vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I don't know. I'm just talking I guess.

I will say I don't believe I'm in immediate danger of doing anything to myself...

But that's just it. Suicide has been entering my mind these past couple of months...and I don't know. I'm kind of afraid I'm pushing myself into that direction.

I lost my mom, and now I've lost my dad in many senses...and with him I've lost a whole heck of a lot of other things.

At the end of 2017 instead of getting ready to celebrate the new year...I made an internal plan not to live past 2018. This would be the last year of my life.
I've never wanted to grow old anyhow...and well...it just feels natural that this is it for me. It's only natural for me to slip off that edge now that so much has been lost. For me to continue eating myself into my grave or whatever.

...But then I started a new group that meets 3 times a week, and I also reached out to an old family friend...and things started to look up again for these past couple of weeks. A new burst of hope.

And yet I'm finding I'm still so close to that edge. I'm still so far behind in everything. Life really sucks for me right now and I need so much, but can't do it atm. Stuff like money to fix my car and for clothes and such.
But I'm still also having issues just getting basics done.
My appartment is a disaster still, I'm not showering like I should (I do shower daily, I just don't really wash myself like I should), my clothes need a serious washing (my family friend said I could bring a couple loads over to her place to wash them <3 ), I'm having a hell of a hard time taking/staying on meds...and on and on.

Plus I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I went from doing nothing all day buy laying around playing on my computer and not interacting with anyone hardly in the 3d world...to jumping up and seeing my doctor, and a new therapist and meeting with one of the guys who runs the new group 1 on 1, to doing the group with all the members (who I've never met before) 3 times a week, to my old family friend and one of her friends.
I'm not use to all this socializing, and my brain is foggy and slow and I'm expected to be nice and cheerful and everything when sometimes I just want to hide from everyone...and some of the guys (like the guy helping to run group and my family friend) are wanting me to jump up and do all these things like immediately start volunteering and exercising...

And they don't understand. I'm at the brinks of giving up...and they're putting all these expectations on me...and it's just so much. I'm so tired. I'm so close to throwing in that white towel.

I miss my mom

And then there's the fear of...well...what if I DO go and volunteer right now where I want to volunteer...but I quit soon after?
What then? I've already got all these sad things weighing me down...can I really handle another quit right now in my life? I've got such a long list of things I've given up on, and they often leave me feeling so devastated.
I'm afraid it could push me ever closer to that edge...closer to becoming suicidal.
I just don't even want to deal with the risk right now. I've already got a lot on my plate. I do want to volunteer...I know it'd do a lot for me. Just not quite yet.
Of course everyone's fear is that if I don't do it now...I'll just keep pushing it off and never do it at all.

I feel so lazy and stupid and broken. I think the guy running the group feels the same way about me. Like I need to stop moping around, get my *** up and just get things done. To grow up and man up and do more with myself and by doing so, I'll feel better about myself.
But he's only known me for a few weeks. If he really knew me, he'd know that I just don't operate under those kinds of restrictions and ways. Those kinds of ideas rip me to shreds and leave me a complete mess.
I really don't think he likes me.

...
I'm not suicidal.
But I do feel the tug. It's been coming. Those thoughts...that pull.
I guess I'm just typing to vent. To get it out there...these random thoughts.
I've been saying this around the forums a bit lately and I'll say it here again...I don't know if anything above made any sense. My brain has been rather foggy and slow lately and I don't always seem to know what the hell I'm trying to say haha.

I miss my mom guys . Losing her has been the hardest thing I've ever had happen to me in my life. I don't even want to think about it right now. I've been doing well not thinking about it over these last weeks...and that's all I have for now it seems...to just not think too heavily about it.

I want my future to be better. But I don't know. It seems like it's going to be so tough on me...especially with money...before things settle.
And I wonder how willing I'm going to be to go through all the rough times ahead before I make it to the other side where the grass is greener. I do believe my future could still be bright if only I'd hold on through the tough times coming.

I don't know. I'm tired.
There's a lot going on in my life (a lot more than I've talked about here), lots of change, lots of good things, lots of sad things...and still the biggest thing in my life...is that giant hole that can't be filled inside my chest that appeared immediately after my mom passed away. :*(. I wish she'd come home and fix everything for me damn it. OMG...I have to stop. I can't think about her right now. It ******* hurts. It's not just an empty hole inside me...it's a full hole. Full of nothing but anger and pain and sad and sorrow.
I miss my mom.
Please come home mom. Please?
The grieving process can unfortunately sometimes last years, I feel pretty damn hopeless myself atm, not so much depression but feeling stoic, believe me I want to check out as well but I'll be a hypocrite and try to help you out by recommending to get this book, puts things in perspective, hope it makes living in this world a little more bearable.

Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road by Neil Peart

"This bold narrative written by the drummer and lyricist for the band Rush shows how Peart tried to stay alive by staying on the move after the loss of his 19-year-old daughter and his wife."

I don't really come here often anymore but feel free to PM me if you need to vent.

Last edited by namazu; 04-04-19 at 02:01 AM.. Reason: replaced Amazon link with title and author of book, per ADDF guidelines
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lloyd_ For This Useful Post:
aeon (04-04-19), Little Missy (04-04-19)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The ADD Vent Thread Struggling General ADD Talk 859 07-31-12 02:22 AM
Help! adult with ADD Just needs to vent passion_junk General ADD Talk 11 03-17-11 12:03 PM
Woman with ADD -I just need to vent before I sit down and cry! luvmi3kids Women with ADD/ADHD 22 04-11-10 06:05 PM
This is a vent...I'm probably wasting my time. Trooper Keith Anxiety Disorders, OCD & PTSD 12 09-28-05 01:50 AM
Small vent pinkie Chit-Chat 1 09-21-04 08:11 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums