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  #1  
Old 05-27-14, 10:10 AM
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Cool On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

I've recently started my first year of a psychology degree. Lots of interesting things to learn. And random things to consider. For example ...

There's a school of thought that says "Don't tell people they've got 'XYZ', because they'll start acting as thought they have XYZ.".

It's called "labelling". I thought nothing of it until a few days ago, when a student raised it in a tute in the context of people "faking their ADHD". I burst out laughing. As you do. And when the lecturer asked me why I couldn't take it seriously (the concept that people can fake ADD), I started to say "Well, it'd be really hard to sustain it, over the long haul. You'd forget to do it sometimes."

They all looked at me quizzically and so I shrugged it off.

But I've been thinking about "labelling", and if I may, I'd like to pose each of you a specific question:

What's the ONE single ADD / ADHD trait that you COULD NOT fake over the medium-long term?

For example, I couldn't fake my swearing. It's inherent, totally natural. It's punctuation, not abuse. I'm a very nicely brung up gel, but I've sworn like a pro since I was about seven years old.

When I'm off my meds, I swear a blue streak inside my head, and if I don't watch it, I swear out loud as well. But when I'm on Concerta / Ritalin, I hardly swear at all. I couldn't possibly fake this particular talent for hilarious, creative swearing, particularly in INAPPROPRIATE situations.

What's your particular ADD "thing"?
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Old 05-27-14, 10:30 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

I have an excuse now. I swear a lot, Never thought about it being ADD. I think I also do it less when I take the medication. You cant fake the attention span of a gnat. (daydreaming,fidgeting,) It would be like faking tourette's syndrome. Which my good friend was convinced I had because I swear so much.
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Old 05-27-14, 10:50 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

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Originally Posted by MADD As A Hatte View Post
It's called "labelling". I thought nothing of it until a few days ago, when a student raised it in a tute in the context of people "faking their ADHD". I burst out laughing. As you do. And when the lecturer asked me why I couldn't take it seriously (the concept that people can fake ADD), I started to say "Well, it'd be really hard to sustain it, over the long haul. You'd forget to do it sometimes."
This just made me blow milk out my nose! Thank you for that!

That being said I did do what some might consider "too much" research on adhd and believed that I had symptoms and severity that I didn't. I never got around to filling in the "nicks adhd symptoms" list. Recently I'm re-realizing how sublte my adhd is(I relearn things all the time). Balancing learned hopelessness with forgiveness of what is actually my reality is really hard for me .

I do agree with your teacher/professor? (expletive deleted) LABELS! Beyond a mutual talking point so others have some idea of what is going on labels do more harm than good(IMO). Instead of trying to fight it I have taken a different approach to how I interpret labels. It is a label for something that is going on in my brain. The label isn't who I am. For good measure **** stigma as well.

I couldn't fake being a space cadet. I mean come on. I would space out while pretending to space out! I've actually done this in mindfulness practice when I'm supposed to "let my mind wander". With that particular mindfulness practice I'm a black belt champion already!!!
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Old 05-27-14, 11:02 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

There is no way I could fake "understanding instructions and directions" !
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Old 05-27-14, 11:27 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

I doubt anyone could fake being like me in the long term. But then again, most of my features/symptoms aren't even known to most people around me. Only my close friends know I have this disorder. My parents still think I could "snap out of it" if I tried hard enough.

Here are some things which I believe would be hard to fake though:

-doing nothing but pacing around the room and daydreaming for a couple of hours each day, even if you have the possibility to do more useful or fun things; I think a normal person could do that only if he/she was confined for a long period of time, otherwise I can't see who'd be willing to sacrifice so much of their lives just to prove they have a disorder

-being really lousy at things you need to do or you like to do: team sports, most computer games, riding a bike, dancing and driving- if someone likes driving for example, then that person would have to give that up, because I can't be a good driver even if my life depends on it (and being a lousy driver really can cost you your life, but I still suck at it)

-you forget things that are important to you, like going place you really want to go, buying stuff that you really need (like shampoo or tooth paste), eating, washing yourself, names and faces of people you like and want to make friends with etc. - and you have to do it all the time, not just once a week for show! People will accuse you that you don't care about them and you'll be considered less of a friend because you forgot someone's birthday, even if you'd risk you life for your friend

-you lose or forget stuff, expensive stuff sometimes, like your cell-phone or you wallet on the restaurant table; I hardly ever leave a place without forgetting something behind

-clumsiness and inattention must be present even if you have all the reasons to want to stay focused: important classes, important task, important meetings with your boss, a date with someone you like- lots of people will think less of you because of your behavior and you will suffer the consequences, like not getting a job or not being called back after the first date, but you still can't change

-ADHD seriously affects my self-esteem and this is obvious in pretty much everything I do and say. And I'm not ashamed of this disorder, but I'm not proud of it either. I don't go around telling people about it. I'd tell a teacher, if I thought it would help, but I'd have a private conversation and I would insist that it must remain confidential

-when my ADHD affects other people negatively, like when I say something stupid or forget to do something important for someone else, I feel terribly guilty and I always try to make up for that. I would never ever use it as an excuse for anything. If someone was offended about what I said, then I accept whatever consequences anyone else in my situation would have to face, ADHD or not. I don't expect to get away with it because I'm ADHD. I would like some understanding, but I feel that this understanding must come from others and it shouldn't be asked for or demanded.
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Old 05-27-14, 12:28 PM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

Labeling? For years I was labeled "lazy" and "stupid" and "crazy" and "manipulative" and "over-sensitive."

Where were the cautions about starting to "act like" I had all those things wrong with me?

The label of ADHD (and anxiety and depression and sensory disorder) was a relief compared to those.



You know, the "experts" used to say "Don't warn people about stuff like tornados,
they'll just panic and kill themselves trying to get away."

Turns out, tornado warnings save thousands of lives every year.

We're not as think as they dumb we are ... or something like that.
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Old 05-27-14, 02:43 PM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

im not sure which symtoms would you like me to spell out? im pretty sure I didn't fake all the jobs I either quit abruptly or was fired from or how often I am oblivious to something that is right infront of my face or not being able to go to college! or the inability to deal with stress.
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Old 05-27-14, 03:03 PM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

I don't think I could fake starting something (like a chore or a web search) and realize something else needs doing so go off to do that - a never-ending chain of things until I finally realize I didn't finish the first thing.

It would drive me bonkers to not finish things if my ADHD didn't make it so difficult to finish things.
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Old 05-28-14, 05:48 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

If you're looking for the single biggest thing, why would you try to fake being mentally disorganised? It impacts work performance and annoys family no end.
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Old 05-28-14, 07:19 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

that's just it madd... long term.... i suspect these peeps in the OP all have some picture in their heads of a two minute outburst.... or some escalation over months based on catalyst labels...

the things is.... and the most powerful thing i've got from this site is how intrinsicly common many shared behaviors are.... and this is before I even knew what ADHD was!

one thing....... probs that "intense gazing".... often confused for daydreaming or stuff of stephen king
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Old 05-28-14, 11:04 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

I've been meaning to respond to this thread for a while and then I'll be like, "oh wait, is it actually about orgasms?.. Oh, I see it says 'faking ADHD and NOT orgasms'..ok, we're good" .. and by the time the thread loads I'll be like, "oh yeah, didn't I decide this one was about orgasms? ... " and I close the window.

I swear I'm not faking.

I know this is not the topic of your thread, so forgive me, but I feel like that's a perfect "startled ADHD moment" you had there. Reading your thread I'm thinking I would say: "And do people fake depression?" And of course in the moment, a little startled and on the spot, I never can conjure things like that. And the reason I relate to the story so much is that I would probably do exactly what you did: make a joke.

Anyway, I could not fake my STARTLED STUPIDITY!!
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Old 05-28-14, 02:00 PM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

People freak out about labels and I dont always understand why. In order to treat a disease or illness, you need to have a name for it. And you need to understand why that label was applied. The difference I think, is searching the net about your symptoms, take an online test adn WHAMO! You have adhd! The diagnosis bit should be done by a doctor.
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Old 05-29-14, 01:08 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevuke79 View Post
I know this is not the topic of your thread, so forgive me, but I feel like that's a perfect "startled ADHD moment" you had there. ... And the reason I relate to the story so much is that I would probably do exactly what you did: make a joke.
You crack me up, Steve! Yes, it was a perfect "startled ADHD moment".

And here's another ADD thing which I, personally, cannot fake: COMPLETELY missing the point of things. Just not getting it. Missing the bleeding obvious.

For instance, my OP ... for which you give me WAAAAAY too much credit, folks ... here's what I said and wrote originally :

... when the lecturer asked me why I couldn't take it seriously (the concept that people can fake ADD), I started to say "Well, it'd be really hard to sustain it, over the long haul. You'd forget to do it sometimes."

I was DEAD SERIOUS. I wasn't making a joke in the lecture! And I didn't GET why you guys were finding it funny, until I went back and read it about four times. DOH!!


At the risk of truly embarassing myself, here's a MASSIVE point I've missed for nearly 50 years.

I grew up listening The Fab Four - John, Paul, Ringo and what's his name. The other one, the long haired hippy. I heard a 50th anniversary interview the other day, an interview being replayed on the wireless with John Lennon and Paul McCartney. It went back decades, but they were explaining how they named the band.

[bung on your best Liverpool accent]

"So, lark, we're sittin' there and tryin' to think up a name for the band, and well, I said 'The Beatniks', and John said No, how boooooorin', and then one of ooz said 'The Beetles' and we said yeah, yeah, yeah. Except we had to, you know, spell it like, you know, "Beatles". With an 'a'."

I nearly crashed my car. I was ******* myself laughing and FURIOUSLY ANGRY with myself at the same time. I have never ever put two and two together about "beetles" and "Beatles" and "beatniks" and .... oh, forget it. Sheesh.

Fake THAT for four decades, I DARE YA!!
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Last edited by MADD As A Hatte; 05-29-14 at 01:11 AM.. Reason: Got distracted.
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Old 05-29-14, 04:15 AM
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Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

um, I never knew that about the Beatles until i read the post above...
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Old 05-29-14, 05:24 AM
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Cool Re: On fakin' it (ADD, not orgasms)

Quote:
Originally Posted by stef View Post
um, I never knew that about the Beatles until i read the post above...
What? That the fourth one was a long haired hippy type?!! Oh, ****, I've done it again, haven't I? Someone, please, JUST SHOOT ME!!!
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