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  #31  
Old 08-20-14, 11:34 AM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by Asylum View Post
I had ADHD and was abused BUT I was the quiet, withdrawn kid, which is still typical within the range of ADHD. Both my parents have ADHD (I think - they've never been diagnosed) but there was no link between that and my abuse - for instance my brother wasn't abused in any way, but I copped all types of abuse. So I'm reluctant to make this particular link.
Also, a lot of child abuse is methodical, planned out and long-term, rather than impulsive acting out.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I have PTSD because of what happened to me after facing up to a few things. I have to wonder how many of my ADHD symptoms my be due to that, and if so how many previously abused ADDERS are out there because of the abuse, rather than being born with it as I previously thought. But its all heresay, I suppose. I feel like I'm left sitting in a corner somewhere and waiting for someone to actually come up with some decent answers, once and for all.

(This comment isn't directly made at you Lunacie, I'm just using your quote.)
I'd be interested in seeing more information (links) to the idea that a lot of child abuse is methodical and planned.
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  #32  
Old 08-20-14, 03:21 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

As far as whether spanking is abuse, if science is our guide, as I would expect in a scientific study, spanking is abuse.

Studies have found health risks associated with even light corporal punishment and no study has ever found long term benefits. The only study that actually found a benefit, short term compliance, also reported that corporal punishment was no better in this regard than alternatives such as time-outs which didn't have the long term negative effects.

In many places (like the US) there is a disconnect between public and scientific consensus on this issue. It's such a common practise and yet abuse is so stigmatized, how can someone admit that either they or their parents have abused their children. But I don't think a scientific study has this dilemma.
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  #33  
Old 08-20-14, 03:29 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
ok, i guess

i just feel like adhd kids wouldn't drive someone with good emotional regulation skills to abuse

so it wouldn't be so much the kid , but the kid only with that adult

babies can't change their behavior, so if their behavior is driving you to abuse one, you need to help yourself immediately
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Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
I think you're right - but isn't there a pretty high likelihood that at least one parent of an ADHDer won't have good emotional regulation skills?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say neither of you have raised any kids.

Even if spanking IS abuse (which is my opinion), restraining from spanking ANY kid, ADHD or not, requires incredible resolve. I was shocked that for NT's it was only 7%. My wife has assured me, and I share her sentiment, that it is only a matter of time before one of us finds the other curled up in a ball at the bottom of our linen closet rocking back and forth repeating: I will not hit my child,.. I will not hit my child, .. I will not hit my child..

I wonder if the definition of abuse was simply the subject's answer when asked: were you abused.
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  #34  
Old 08-20-14, 07:44 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

steve and lunacie

I'm sorry if I've offended you, by stating I'm completely against abuse and adhd should not be a valid excuse to do what you please

would a court find you competent in a case when you have adhd?

i also understand the uncontrollable frustration that can occur with adhd
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  #35  
Old 08-20-14, 07:59 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
steve and lunacie

I'm sorry if I've offended you, by stating I'm completely against abuse and adhd should not be a valid excuse to do what you please

would a court find you competent in a case when you have adhd?

i also understand the uncontrollable frustration that can occur with adhd
I am not offended by your viewpoint. I am also very much against child abuse.

I did not offer ADHD as an excuse for losing control, but as a reasonable explanation.

There are many people in prison right now who have ADHD and made bad choices or lost control.

I'd rather see better information and diversion programs to help people manage their ADHD.
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  #36  
Old 08-20-14, 08:01 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
I am not offended by your viewpoint. I am also very much against child abuse.

I did not offer ADHD as an excuse for losing control, but as a reasonable explanation.

There are many people in prison right now who have ADHD and made bad choices or lost control.

I'd rather see better information and diversion programs to help people manage their ADHD.
i agree, although when it involves someone else , you need to do something

i have been in prison for impulsive related behavior
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  #37  
Old 08-20-14, 08:15 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
steve and lunacie

I'm sorry if I've offended you, by stating I'm completely against abuse and adhd should not be a valid excuse to do what you please

would a court find you competent in a case when you have adhd?

i also understand the uncontrollable frustration that can occur with adhd
Oh no, not at all. You didn't offend me.

I think your statement to the effect that "anyone with sufficient emotional regulation should be able to refrain from spanking" was a reasonable statement and a likely point of view. I think all parents but only parents might agree that's not the case and understand that any child could make even a well regulated individual consider horrible punitive measures (most of is have )- I was sharing this view in a sort of felicitous way.

You were fine and I appreciated your posts.
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  #38  
Old 08-20-14, 08:18 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

ok, i just mentioned i can see a spanking, maybe an over the edge once

but if you went over the edge, its on you now

if this becomes a pattern, you no longer are a victim of impulsiveness , you now own it
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  #39  
Old 08-20-14, 08:23 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

Let me be clear on my position:

1. Not spanking your child require the highest levels of resolve
2. If your resolve falls short*, you belong in a cage.

*(more than once a year or 2 years. For the record, my resolve has held so far.)
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  #40  
Old 08-20-14, 09:10 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
I'd be interested in seeing more information (links) to the idea that a lot of child abuse is methodical and planned.
Links?? No, you just have to listen to the stories of people who were abused. Have you heard of pedophilia? Grooming doesn't happen spontaneously. Mental abuse is methodical. I can't even finish writing what I was going to because I'm too upset. Are you serious???
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  #41  
Old 08-20-14, 09:19 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by Asylum View Post
Links?? No, you just have to listen to the stories of people who were abused. Have you heard of pedophilia? Grooming doesn't happen spontaneously. Mental abuse is methodical. I can't even finish writing what I was going to because I'm too upset. Are you serious???
I see. I hadn't followed that you were talking about pedophilia.
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  #42  
Old 08-20-14, 09:34 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
I see. I hadn't followed that you were talking about pedophilia.
the study did mention sexual abuse as a form of abuse

from an adult to child , that is pedophilia
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  #43  
Old 08-20-14, 09:41 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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the study did mention sexual abuse as a form of abuse

from an adult to child , that is pedophilia
Not all child molesters are pedophiles.

Not all pedophiles are child molesters.
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  #44  
Old 08-20-14, 09:51 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Not all child molesters are pedophiles.

Not all pedophiles are child molesters.

i understand that a lot of people who technically are pedophiles problem can restrain themselves from acting on it

i don't buy that sexual abuse of a child can be explained by anything other than sadistic and pedophilia
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Old 08-20-14, 10:01 PM
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Re: 30% of adults with ADHD were abused as a child???

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Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
i understand that a lot of people who technically are pedophiles problem can restrain themselves from acting on it

i don't buy that sexual abuse of a child can be explained by anything other than sadistic and pedophilia
And you are entitled to your opinion, but it doesn't seem to be supported by the statistics/research.

From: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/c...at-drives-them

Quote:
"True pedophiles are responsible for only a small percentage of child sexual molestations. Half of child sexual abusers are the parents of the victims; other relatives commit an additional 18%of the offenses. And while active pedophiles are generally single men between the ages of 16 and 35, child molesters are generally married men, of any age, who are primarily drawn to their own children and/or step children."
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