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Old 10-05-10, 11:03 PM
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Moody, focusing on one thing, wide awake on Adderall


Lets see here, originally I was on 20mg Adderall xr and now I am on 30mg. I took the 30mg on Saturday for the first time without eating anything before and after (I forgot!) I took it at about 10(?) and at around 3 I stood up with a rush of horrible side effects. So Sunday I took none because I had to study (well, try to) and I didnít want to get sick again. Monday came around and I took 20mg at about 10 had my first class at 11:30 I couldnít tell a difference like all the times before taking 20mg. And at about 12:30 I took another pill. Still couldnít really tell. But then in my second class (starts at 3:30) but than at about 4:30(?) I was trying so hard to figure out one problem (economics supply and demand charts) I couldnít figure it out Sunday when I tried the problem to. I decided to ask the teacher how to do the problem. He told me, kinda, but I still didnít get it. I was completely focused on that one problem that I missed whatever the teacher was talking about at that time. I was so frustrated so much over that one stupid problem that I got one of them ďomg I feel like Im going to cryĒ lump in the back of my throat.
Another thing I noticed Monday, last night was I couldnít sleep at all. I got into an argument with some woman I never met in my life. She was trying to tell me Im a bad mother and a bad influence on my son because Im a 19 year old unwed mother. I got pretty angry I wanted to rip this womanís head off! But I do what I do, act as mature as possible and make her feel stupid for arguing with a 19 year old when shes 30 some. Well, arguing gives me some weird adrenalin rush like all my anger and I donít know what exactly, but it gets turned into a good feeling. I get happy and feel like I can take on the world. Normally I can fall asleep after I let my heart rate slow down haha. But last night I couldnít sleep and I donít mean just couldnít sleep but tired and all that. I was wide awake laying there for the whole entire night. I started thinking of what I was going to do the next day (today) I had all these plans of getting stuff done I was going to clean and do some homework I was ready to go! I didnít sleep at all and I cant sleep during the day a lot because of my son. I was just tired and had no motivation.

I took 30mg at once at about 10 I figured I should try it again now that I had nothing going on. I think I was pretty focused but on one thing and that would be this website looking up stuff! It like sucked me in and even thou I had to get other stuff done I was like zoned in just on this site lol. And I remember looking at the clock and saying to myself ĎIm going to get off and work on homework... right after I look at this..í and next thing I know hours later Im still hooked. I have pretty much been on it all day. The day like flew by me I didnít even notice!

And then around 7ish my dad made dinner. Although, at the same time my son had to eat. As I was feeding him my dad said can eat whenever. I told him to wait 10 minutes to I can finish feeding Dakota, my son. But of course my dad took out the food right away. He does this all the time. I ask him to hold off 5 10 minutes. Well, him and my mother ate as I sat and fed Dakota. Then after they both went outside, they both smoke but not in the house. For some reason this really got to me and I realized tears were rolling down my cheeks and I was really upset for some reason. Normally it bothers me, but not to that point lol. Gets me wondering if my Adderall is making me moody?

And about an hour my head felt like it was compressing or something like a rubber band around my head.

Is all this normal??
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