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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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Old 05-10-11, 11:44 PM
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How to save yourself if you forget a special day

Okay so Mother's Day just passed and a bunch of birthdays are coming up in my family. How do you save yourself if you nearly forgot (or totally forgot) a special day for a special person?

(stolen from my blog)

Even the best of us, who fight our ADHD every damned day, will slip up now and then. So what do we do to cover our butts and make those we love feel loved?

E-cards will save you butt.
They are better than real cards: they are often animated, you can personalize them and they are better for the environment. Also, you can send them on the day of. It only takes a few minutes. Many of them are free, though the best ones cost a couple of bucks.
Another awesome way to use e-cards is that you can set them to be sent at a later date. So once a year you can sit down with your calendar and make sure that an e-card get sent to your loved ones on their special days and not have to worry about it. They will even notify you when someone receives their e-card, which is another reminder for you!


Utilize YouTube.
YouTube is chalk full of pretty videos someone else made, of poems and nice pictures for any possible holiday. All you have to do is post it to your loved oneís Facebook wall or whatever. Is it Motherís Day? Then search for a nice YouTube video about how wonderful wives and mothers are and post it to your wifeís Facebook wall. This only takes a few minutes (so long as you donít get sucked into YouTube).


Poetry is free online.
There are many poetry websites that will list free poems by subject. Just find one such website and search ďWifeís BirthdayĒ ta-da! Pick a nice one, preferably a long one. Print it out using a fancy font and tuck it somewhere for her to find. On the fridge, under her pillow, beside the coffee machine, etc etc etc Once again, this only takes a few minutes.


Re-loadable gift cards.
The wave of the future! Get your loved one a re-loadable gift card for a favourite store. Then if you suddenly realise you forgot their birthday, all you have to do is hop online and transfer some cash from your chequing account to their card. Surprise! Thereís $50 on your re-loadable gift card! Yet again, this only takes a few minutes.


Get the kids in on it.
Letís say you just realised you forgot your wifeís birthday. While she isnít looking (like in the shower or something) break out the arts and crafts supplies and hand them to the kids. ďMake something nice for MommyĒ Volia, she steps out of the shower to see you and the kids at the kitchen table making cards for her. Awwwww! Isnít that sweet?


Have back-up gifts.
One of my hobbies is beading. Sometimes I sell my beaded jewellery, which helps to pay for my hobby. This means that I always have a box full of beaded jewellery that I made myself just sitting around. If I am in a pinch, I can dig through the box and find something suitable for a friend. I can also whip up a necklace in under an hour if I need too.
Do you have such a hobby, craft, art or skill that can be used this way? Do you have a friend or family member who does, that you could call up and buy something from? Think about it.


Another back-up gift method.
Lets say you are walking through a store and suddenly realise that your loved oneís special day is next month. BUY SOMETHING NOW! Even if it is small and cheap. Then hide it in your underwear drawer, or desk drawer, or toolbox or somewhere. Then if you realise you forgot a gift, you can pull it out and offer it. If it is something pretty small and cheap, just give them a wink and tell them that this gift is just the start. Then go re-load their gift card or offer to take them shopping or say that their big gift was ordered from ebay or amazon and it hasnít arrived yet. If you say something is on its way from amazon, make you do go order something and have it shipped out priority.


Order something online.
Quick! Run to the computer and order something nice from ebay or amazon or wherever. Pay the extra to have it shipped out fast. Then just explain to your loved one that the big gift is still on its way, so in the mean time, letís go out for dinner.


Ebay is your friend.
Sit your loved one down at the computer and tell them they can order anything they want up to x amount of dollars. Or purchase on of their online gift certificates and then tell them to check their email. Happy special day hun!


Be their slave for a day.
Really, desperately need those brownie points? Kneel before your loved one and tell them that on their special day, you will be their willing servant all day (or until dinner or whenever). Youíll do as you are told; take them where they want to go, act as their maid and butler all in one etc. If thereís a bell in the house, give it to them and swear youíll answer its call. This might mean you wind up spending all day driving your teenager and her friends around town, or helping you wife in the garden, or watching porn with your husband. But itís a great gift and most people love it.


Do more than one of these things.
Okay so the wife is not happy because you forgot her birthday. Start a bubble bath for her and tell her that her special day will begin in an hour. Run over to the computer and send an ecard, order a book from amazon, post a YouTube video on their Facebook wall, print out a poem (or two or three) and put it in her purse and make sure that by the time that hour is over, youíre sitting there with the kids adding glitter to her birthday card. Voila!


Anything you want to add guys?
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Old 05-11-11, 04:04 AM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

Live in a time zone 12 hours ahead of your parents. If I don't remember my mom's birthday until I'm going to sleep, I still have until 9 the next morning to skype.

Note: This may be inconvenient for some.
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Old 05-11-11, 04:51 AM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

  • Keep running lists of gift ideas for people: that way you don't have to stress yourself thinking of gifts at the last minute, you just buy off your list.
  • Jewellery for girls.
  • For grandparents - photos of the grandkids on mugs, mousepads, shirts, etc.
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Old 05-11-11, 12:34 PM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

Awesome Red, these are great!! The one about buying the gifts ahead of time is similar to what I do, but the other way around..... Throughout the year, if I'm out shopping and I see something that some particular person would like, I'll buy it right then, even if their birthday is a long ways away. Also, I have one spot at home dedicated to "future gifts", so when I do forget until last minute (or late) I go there and hopefully I had put something there that I'd forgotten all about!
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Old 05-12-11, 02:48 AM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

Thanks for the tips! I ALWAYS forget birthdays and I feel very bad when my friends remember mine and got me stuff. I'll get a "future gift" box and start buying stuff to put in it then..
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Old 05-12-11, 10:49 AM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

Cook. Thankfully my family can overlook my forgetfulness as they know that I will make them a nice dinner instead.
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Old 05-12-11, 08:20 PM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

GIFT CARDS! They even have them at places like Walgreens and CVS that are open 24/7/365 to all sorts of places.

FOOD! Even when dirt broke, I usually have enough stuff in the house to make sugar cookies or peanut butter cookies. Wrap them up real pretty in clear wrap and tie a ribbon on it! (I have millions of yards of ribbon from scrapbooking hobby of mine.) Now you look thoughtful and that took less than 30-40 mins.
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Old 05-12-11, 08:28 PM
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Re: How to save yourself if you forget a special day

Early to bed early to rise fish like hell make up lies.Tell her a wild pack of hippies or gypsy aliens abducted you.LOL IM Lmao as I type this. ORRRR ya can just get her something and come clean an suffer the consequances sugar.
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