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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #16  
Old 07-19-17, 06:05 PM
TimmyJ TimmyJ is offline
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Re: Loneliness

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Originally Posted by stef View Post
As Finallyfound said above, anxiety;
at the time, you honestly, truly want to do this, to be there, to meet up, to interact, to socialize.

It has absolutely nothing to do with seeing the person; it's the outing in itself.

I'm certainly not saying this is the case for everyone, but it can happen.
Well, maybe that's the case for some people. However, the people I have in mind socialised with me before and have no problem continuing to socialise with other people.

@Finallyfound, what did you mean re: social protocol?
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  #17  
Old 07-20-17, 05:31 AM
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Re: Loneliness

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Originally Posted by TimmyJ View Post
Well, maybe that's the case for some people. However, the people I have in mind socialised with me before and have no problem continuing to socialise with other people.

@Finallyfound, what did you mean re: social protocol?
I dont know if I can chalk it all up to anxiety. I think some people are really selfish, even if they dont realize it and do not think of other people beyond themselves.
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  #18  
Old 07-20-17, 05:41 AM
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Re: Loneliness

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Originally Posted by TimmyJ View Post
Well, maybe that's the case for some people. However, the people I have in mind socialised with me before and have no problem continuing to socialise with other people.

@Finallyfound, what did you mean re: social protocol?
It's the case for some people, yes; but then I agree that there are many selfish ones as well.
Sorry to hear this happened to you.
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Old 07-20-17, 02:02 PM
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Re: Loneliness

The reason this bothers me is that it makes me feel like I can never be truly secure in a relationship. Like I can do everything right (at least to my knowledge) and I still can't rely on them not to lose interest out of the blue for no (stated) reason. Like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
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  #20  
Old 07-28-17, 01:37 PM
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Re: Loneliness

Friendships are so confusing. I have teenage children who i counsel really well and who have great, strong friendships, but in classic adhd lack of self awareness style my relationships are beyond my understanding. people drop out so easily - and as soon as i feel this absence i feel a sense of rejection and the relationship crumbles. i recently lost a friend when she got a new boyfriend and she immediately dropped me. the worst part of it is i know she thinks it was me who dropped her. for me it gets past the point where talking about it is possible...it hurts so much....
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  #21  
Old 07-30-17, 12:11 AM
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Re: Loneliness

Social protocol are the things we say and do because they are what is socially deemed " the right thing to say and do."

Friend you run into and haven't seen for a long time: "It's been too long! Let's get together and have dinner to catch up!"

Me: "Yes, absolutely! Let's be in touch soon!"


Sometimes, I really do want to get together with them but other I do not but I pretty much say the same thing to both. I've made commitments to go to particular event from Meetup.com but then have gotten very anxious so I bail.
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  #22  
Old 08-18-17, 12:23 PM
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Re: Loneliness

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Originally Posted by TimmyJ View Post
So I guess the options are not just (A) "I like you, therefore I will make an effort to see you" or (B) "I don't really like you but I'm too cowardly to come out and say it" but also (C) "I am self-centred and lazy, so I like you as an option for when I'm bored and/or it's ultra-convenient for me to see you". Like a platonic booty-call.
^^ This is awesome!
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  #23  
Old 08-18-17, 12:24 PM
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Re: Loneliness

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Originally Posted by TimmyJ View Post
The reason this bothers me is that it makes me feel like I can never be truly secure in a relationship. Like I can do everything right (at least to my knowledge) and I still can't rely on them not to lose interest out of the blue for no (stated) reason. Like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
I know how you feel.
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