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Old 12-16-04, 09:19 PM
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Slowpoke will become famous soon enough
if only there were a service from which one could rent people to stand over one with a stick
or small cattle prod, to keep one in the seat.
or get one there.

He he... I'll do it, I need the money!
Actually, you CAN hire someone to do that, it's uh, sort of a Dominatrix kind of mentality... well the psychology of it is at any rate. I'm a psych major (working/struggling through my second major, geography)

I like janesays' point, of finding a way that uses ALL of the senses.

I have been struggling A LOT lately, I have an anxiety disorder so writing papers is really hard for me. Sometimes it feels like I'm literally frozen in place... and I have started to really looking deep inside myself to try and understand why it is.

So after doing a LOT of research and reading parts of books I've accumulated, I figured that several factors are contributing to the academic hold up...

1. anxiety - includes panic attacks, and avoidance

2. low frustration tolerance... blowing things out of proportion. That is, the perceived sense of dread is out of balance with the actual task

3. severe deficiency in time awareness, in terms of how much time has passed since having started a task

4. lack of internal locus of control


Basically, I've had a lot of troubles with school, particularly having difficulty with writing essays. I get 95% on oral presentations, but struggle to write papers. So the experiences are lingering in my mind, so that even the thought of the PAPER is enough to make my muscles freeze up and stay in my comfort zone on the couch.

I have a low frustration tolerance, meaning that when I get confused my brain just sets off in a spin, so I've been working on slowing down the thoughts and reminding myself that it's NOT A SHAME to have to go over where I am every few minutes by looking at an outline of some sort.

Time awareness has been a big challenge... especially when paired up with the avoidance habit. If I do get down to doing some reading, my breaks end up just taking me away from the task altogether... timers, analog clocks, vibrating reminders at intervals... have not helped.

However, I have found that setting my stop watch is something my brain seems to be able to process. THe countdown timer was not really helpful, and I have a theory that my brain processes information regarding time easier if it understands how much time has passed, rather than how much time I have left.

Locus of control... I've read in serveral places on the intra-webb ;p that AD/HDers have an extrinsic locus of control - meaning that external factors are what we respond and react to, rather than internal. So instead of being sensitive to what I really want to do (work on the paper, and finish it...) I respond to environmental things, other people, sounds, etc.

That last one is particularly interesting for me as a psych major, since it suggests that motivation could be improved if I were to try to focus on what I'm striving for, and internalize my purposes for a task. I get caught up in worrying about how to explain to the profs why the paper is not done yet, and how I'm going to feel, worry whether or not it's going to get done, if I'll have trouble with it (actually, I TELL myself that I will... but I'm working on changing that).

So I've had some better success with using the stop watch approach.
If it works, then it's all good, right?
I don't like writing papers, and it made me feel better that my boyfriend said no one likes doing the work, but you feel better having done a good job with it.

Taking that into account, I've made a conscious effort to make sure I am being more encouraging to myself, and reinforcing all the good stuff I get done. This has recently ended up in the form of really appreciating the effort it took to get down to work, acknowledging that it was something I really didn't want to do, but that I MADE myself do it. (In the past, I've usually ended up scolding myself by saying that it took too long to do it; being in the frame of mind that I should already have this mastered).

Any suggestions are more than welcome!
This thread is really great.
Makes me feel not so alone.


thanks everyone.
it's been hard to stay positive about my deficiencies the past few weeks.
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