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Old 11-12-17, 07:03 AM
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Re: Complicated Situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
I definitely was self medicating. Meth was never fun for me, it just made me feel normal.

I never increased dosage over the three years I was smoking it daily. There was always a threshold I would get to and would never be able to go above that in terms of 'highness'. Vyvanse and meth feel exactly the same to me, I just enjoyed the smoking aspect of meth. From what I've been told by a psychiatrist, this is how anyone with ADHD reacts to amphetamines. I made me feel like myself.
People always assume because amphetamines have part of what meth is chemically or their isomers in them that they are the same and feel the same. I guarantee you will not feel the same high from vyvanse as you would from meth. You might think you focus the same way but when under the influence of actual meth you are a poor self evaluator and cant possibly see how the two could be different. Plus meth is made with dirty chemicals and in someone's house, not a lab with medical and safety standards so no two doses of street meth will ever be the same.
Quote:
The psychiatrists and psychologists I have been to all have made me feel like **** for believing I need amphetamines of some sort to feel normal. It makes me really sad and alone. I dunno how to find a doctor who understands and doesn't judge me for who I am. I'm willing to try anything to help me get out of bed because right now it's all I can do.

I can maintain sobriety easily. I don't have to have it. But I want it so I can feel like Myself and live a normal life.
Sobriety isnt about not having to have a drug, its about not wanting it as well. Even though you say you have adhd and all,you are seeking the pharmocological equivalent of what you took on the streets. Thats drug seeking and thats trying to justify or at least excuse the use of meth.

I have no doubt that people with adhd self medicate-I did and I became an alcoholic who is sober now. But you cant use your drug use as a ruler to gauge what a med's effectiveness will be or what drug you would need.
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