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Old 11-10-17, 11:07 PM
CharlesH CharlesH is offline
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Re: Complicated Situation

Originally Posted by bothandneither View Post
I definitely was self medicating. Meth was never fun for me, it just made me feel normal.

I never increased dosage over the three years I was smoking it daily. There was always a threshold I would get to and would never be able to go above that in terms of 'highness'. Vyvanse and meth feel exactly the same to me, I just enjoyed the smoking aspect of meth. From what I've been told by a psychiatrist, this is how anyone with ADHD reacts to amphetamines. I made me feel like myself.

The psychiatrists and psychologists I have been to all have made me feel like **** for believing I need amphetamines of some sort to feel normal. It makes me really sad and alone. I dunno how to find a doctor who understands and doesn't judge me for who I am. I'm willing to try anything to help me get out of bed because right now it's all I can do.

I can maintain sobriety easily. I don't have to have it. But I want it so I can feel like Myself and live a normal life.

Thank you for actually reading and responding to what I've said.
My friend, you are making life so complicated for yourself! Everyone here is giving you similar advice for how to begin your first appointment. Here's how it might start.

You: Hey doc, I think I have ADHD, but I've never been diagnosed. These are my current problems [elaborate], and I've had ADHD symptoms ever since I was a child [elaborate]. I think that if I can get my ADHD treated, it can really help my life. [if you are planning to disclose your history of substance abuse, this would be a logical time to do so] What are your thoughts?

Doc: Okay, let me ask you some questions in order to get a better understanding of you and your symptoms...

Can you see how this approach is different from starting the appointment by asking for Desoxyn in order to feel good?

You say that psychiatrists have always been dismissive of your requests for amphetamines. But then you also say that a previous psychiatrist validated the feeling of normalcy you got from amphetamines as a sign that you have ADHD. I'm confused.

If you need a therapist, then get a good therapist! Unfortunately, you cannot expect a psychiatrist to act as a therapist. A psychiatrist is the one who is responsible for prescribing medications, and their medical license is on the line, so don't expect the psychiatrist to be in a good mood if you tell them you have substance abuse history and want stimulants. Psychiatrists are also crazy expensive for insurance companies, so psychiatrists are often rushed for time, and don't have time to be extra sensitive to you. That's just the reality.
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