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Old 06-06-19, 07:59 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Too much so say and I can't find the words. In the middle of a clinical trial for trauma processing. I'm halfway through. It's tough going. I've recovered some really disturbing memories. What I thought was real isn't. What I thought was normal isn't. The anxiety is so debilitating that my jaw is aching from the stress. I have to grow up - see things as an adult rather than from the scared child perspective. I don't know who I am. I worked through memories of early childhood. The ones where I thought it was the beginnings of mental illness for me. But no. I was not mentally ill I was just being ******* traumatised. I feel angry but I feel like I'm suppressing it because I'm scared of going into a rage? Can you get angry with people who are dead? I don't ******* know anymore.
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