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Old 11-13-17, 12:20 AM
bothandneither bothandneither is offline
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Re: Complicated Situation

My problem with sarahsweet's post is the problem I have with most everyone around me. They are telling me how I feel. There's other issues too but there's no need to go into it.

My self-awareness level is fine. I dunno how to objectively prove that, but Im more than willing to take MRI's and do cognitive testing for any doctor if necessary and have said this many times to those around me.

I can prove this kinda but won't do it here. My dosage of methamphetamine was always consistent and never increased over the three years I did it.

There's the thread 'the holy grail, deoxsyn journal'. His experience is exactly mine. The 'high' is barely perceptible, It makes me feel like me, and gives me the energy to participate in life and not feel constantly repressed. I think I said this already, but it was never about fun, only about normalcy. I hate so much that right now I can barely move and can't concentrate on anything. It makes my depression even worse. I want to be productive and love life so much but I can't. It's impossible to describe why I can't right now, I just can't. It's hellish.
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