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Old 08-24-19, 12:28 PM
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Re: please somebody help me understand something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drogheda98 View Post
even posting this message I feel, wrong.

when I first went into therapy 4 years ago one of the first comments I said was "I'm probably better than the top 1000 guitarist in arkansas". my therapist, scoft at me.

thing is, I wasn't lying. I've played guitar for over 15 years, more like 22 years now, I've been in the music scene in arkansas for 6 of those years, I've got to known a good amount of people, had a good time.

growing up, I listened to steve vai and people like him for influence and said to myself " I can be as good as those people at playing guitar" and never looked back. whenever I feel bad, ****ty or any other diserade state, guitar has been the only behavior that gives me sollice. after a while, other behaviors came to the forefront.

problem is, any behavior I engage at I become extremely good at, and, I feel I'm wrong, that I'm not supposed to be good at any behavior, that if I'm good at any behavior I might hurt another person, that if I'm the best, or play the best at any behavior, somebody else will see what I do and, I'm just not supposed to be good at anything.

yesterday I played a melody that, I was, I could hardly believe what I played and I felt really good at what I did, and now I feel really ****ty. I wasn't lying to my therapist, the % might of been schued, however, I can pull of steve vai licks and feel great, steve vai is, like one of the best guitarist the world over.

how come I don't feel good. I even proved that to my therapist, took my guitar to so he could see that I wasn't lying

I'm just, confused right now, because the guitar is just one example. do I continue to be the best I can at everything I do, or just, stop, because I don't want to be better than anybody else, but the more I do at any behavior I get better any any behavior really fast, but again, I don't want to be better than anyone else any behavior. ya plus, this is starting when my next semister of college is coming about
There’s nothing wrong with trying to be the best at something you’re passionate about. Being the best YOU can be, won’t hurt anyone. Did it hurt when you first discovered how great a guitarist Steve Vai is? I doubt it did. Probably the contrary. His ability probably helped you to learn more and was motivating to become better, I would imagine.

I think trying to convince one’s self or others you are the best is where problems begin. There’s nothing wrong with letting your skills do all the talking and convincing. Saying "I'm probably better than the top 1000 guitarist in arkansas" sounds very arrogant no matter how true it may be. Feeling compelled to make that statement is the red flag imo. Trying to “prove” the statement by bringing your guitar to therapy is another red flag to me.

Even if Steve Vai said he was the best it would sound arrogant and insecure regardless whether it’s true or not. I know it’s cliche but actions speak much louder than words and talk is cheap. Let your talent tell people you’re one of the best. Having others say it will be much more complimentary and rewarding for you.

Making a bold statement with words just makes people want to doubt and question it’s validity. Making a bold statement using your talent will not. Displaying talent impresses people. Talking about one’s own talents usually doesn’t. Be humble and let your talents speak as loudly as they can is my best advice. I think you will find it much more rewarding for you as well as others.
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The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Greyhound1 For This Useful Post:
aeon (08-26-19), Drogheda98 (08-24-19), Little Missy (08-24-19), Lunacie (08-25-19), stef (08-24-19)