Thread: She left
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Old 11-13-18, 06:52 AM
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Re: She left

Another update on Becca: I have been meaning to do this for awhile now. I am not sure what I previously shared so I hope I do not repeat myself.
Rehab- then rehab sponsored halfway house. She started working for a house cleaner under the table which I told her was a bad idea and it didnt work out. They promised her 300-400$ a week and were not giving her the hours. Its not that she didnt work hard. She sent me video of a clean out and she was literally cleaning human feces off the toilet seat. She actually liked that job but when you are under the table they can treat you like sh*t and you have no recourse. Anyway...she had a boyfriend, and she knew how I felt about it. In recovery they tell you no major changes at least for the first year and that includes dating. I met the guy and to his credit he seemed nice enough and treated her well. But Becca needs to move past having a guy give her worth.

In the mean time while she was working for the cleaners she applied to get into an Oxford house- a more permanent sober home. Rent there is 145$ a week. She got recovery funding to move in, and we had to help her with the balance of her rent after two weeks. She found a job at TJMAX and wanted to work the cleaners and them but the cleaners required her to call in every night to see if she was on the schedule for the next day and the boss was wishy washy. The boyfriend broke up with her and she handled it very well. He said he was feeling codependent and I agree so he did it in the best way possible. She is doing remarkably well.

She got hired at a new conveinence store opening up called Royal Farms because of her previous Wawa experience so hopefully that starts soon. They pay more and have more hours for her.

What P*ssed me off was that Humble Beginnings (rehab place) discharged her with referrals for psyche docs and none were taking new patients or had a three month waiting list...how can someone stay sober without mental health meds? I got her old Pdoc to take her back thank god.
She got her own phone plan through walmart and buys money orders for rent- even in small amounts so she is behind but making an effort.

When she was at Humble they supposedly helped her apply for welfare but she didnt have a phone so she missed any calls for interviews. This morning super early we are going to social services so I can help advocate for her. She is really behind with her rent and she could get kicked out.

She had to stay with us for a few days before getting into the oxford house and that proved to me that unless she is homeless she could never live here. Like it or not, she has her independence and even though it was drug induced wild living in the beginning she would not be able to be accountable to mom and dad. Sober house rules are rigid and expected but having your parents ask you what you are doing is different. We decided to let her use the car we had for her. She is paying us 50$ a week to cover insurance. We thought long and hard about it but there is no way she can get to work without it, and if she cant work she cant stay at Oxford house... you get it.

It is so weird with her. Its like I am trying to get to know someone all over again. I have to check myself and not get obsessed with her drama.. I have my own. She wants to make it on her own, and she isnt asking us for money. We have offered here and there because she is trying so hard but she isnt expecting it.

The rest of the family is in limbo with her and I feel like the Becca liason. I fill everyone in on things and they ask questions but do not really talk to her themselves and I am getting a little sick of it.

I have come to learn that it doesnt matter what kind of family you have- drugs and alcohol can take you. Damn I have been sober 7 years and its nothing but AA and sobriety in our house but she was into so much that I didnt know about. So many bad and dangerous situations.

I still hold some resentment towards that awful b*tch mother who let her stay with her...but I am letting that go. I am probably forgetting stuff but this is where we are.
Welfare office this morning and I hate waiting. God help my patience level.
Love you guys and thanks for your support.

XXXOOO
-sweets
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