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Old 01-07-13, 05:01 PM
Dizfriz Dizfriz is offline
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by manismom View Post
I feel like I am not equipped to deal with this crushing depression.

My younger daughter is so sweet, kind, helpful and beautiful and she is just not cut out for traditional school at all. She's only in 1st grade, so I feel like I have another 12 years or so to see and hear about the ways that she is so different from other kids.

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Now my older daughter is having serious trouble in 3 rd grade ( I know that is a bit of an oxymoron, I mean it IS only 3rd grade for crying out loud), and I thought we would have it easy with her. She's so smart and personable. Adults usually love her because she is so precocious and generally reasonable.
Third grade is where school get serious in that the kids are into subjects and it gets much tougher. The first two grades are more aligned with giving the child the tools for the third grade, how to read, get along, follow rules and so on. (not all schools follow this but most do). The third grade is where ADHD can really start to come out. Kids with milder symptoms can survive the first two grades but run into trouble in the third. It is fairly common and is nothing to be surprised about.

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It really isn't helping that I keep hearing from relatives how much grades matter and how if she doesn't do well even in 3rd grade that all these doors will close to her, but don't put her on medicine no matter what you do.
First, being ADHD is not the end of the world. Not doing well in school can have a greater impact especially of the child's view of herself.

Sometimes is it useful to consider that the consequences of not treating ADHD can be far worse than the consequences of the medications.

Quote:
Sigh. Wish I could just get past the depression stage. So sick of feling pulled in a million directions with people saying "this is life or death" and it is all up to you to fix. If only you were more organized the kid wouldn't have this problem.
ADHD is not life or death. It is important but kids can survive a lot with the proper support and help.

Something else to keep in mind, we cannot "fix" either the kids or the problem. ADHD is primarily a neurobiological issue and will be with the kid in some degree for the rest of her life if she is truly ADHD. I guess the most important thing to keep in mind that ADHD is one of the more treatable disorders. It can be helped on an ongoing basis and the kids can have a very successful life and still be ADHD. My adult ADHD son is a very good example of this. While his mother was ADHD she was a very mother to him and he has done well in his life as a result.

In the finial analysis it is the parents decision how to help their child not friends, neighbors, relatives or busybodies. It is yours.

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GAH. It hurts so much.
It can but there is hope. Again, this is treatable disorder.

Dizfriz
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dizfriz For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (01-07-13), LynneC (01-08-13), manismom (01-10-13)