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livinginchaos 08-13-05 05:36 PM

Why do People Bully? How to Stop Bullying

What is Bullying?

A person who says something or does something to another person to have power over them

Types of Bullying:

(1) Verbal aggression: Name calling, taunting, threatening

(2) Making someone feel uncomfortable or scared, on purpose

(3) Taking or damaging your personal property

(4) Physical aggression: hitting, kicking, spitting, choking, punching

(5) Social exclusion: excluding someone on purpose and/or getting others to
exclude a person

**these can be done via written notes or in person, e-mail, IM, telephone, etc.

People bully because:

(1) He/she thinks it makes them popular

(2) To look like he/she is in charge

(3) Attention

(4) Jealously

(5) To make others afraid of him/her

(6) Being bullied him/herself

Bullying can Make a Person Feel:

(1) Lonely

(2) Unhappy

(3) afraid/scared

(4) unsafe

(5) decrease self-esteem

If You are Being Bullied:

(1) Spend more time with friends

- bullies, more often, pick on people who are alone

(2) Ignore the bully

(3) tell someone you trust (eg. parent, relative, teacher, principle, etc)

If You Are a Bully:

(1) Think about why you are bullying

(2) Think about how you would feel if you were bullied

(2) Most bullies arenít liked

(3) Treat others as you want to be treated

No one should have to deal with a bully. You have every right to feel safe
and secure.

The best thing to do is to tell someone. Tell someone you can trust and who
will help on your behalf. By telling someone, youíre not ratting out the bully;
youíre helping and protecting yourself.

auntchris 03-31-07 11:56 AM

This is a great post.

I dealt with the bully situation in school during my middle high yrs.
I was teased my the boys and beaten up by the class school bully with the whole school lined up to watch. Believe me it has haunted me for yrs but not as much now.

the worst is when a teacher , bulllies you verbally in class. It happed the same yrs and now my post in the college forum about a teacher yelling and down grading me now is still happening. The professor and I have managed to be civil but will it happen again.

Arei 11-08-07 11:56 PM

Re: Bullies
Teacher's making fun/taunting/abusing students is one of the most horrible things in the world. Kids end up with seriously bad trust issues, and its alot more painful coming from a "supposedly mature" adult then your immature retarded classmates.

I have a hard time getting over being bullied, it happens all the time. If I could, no one would bully me because I could smack them down with great ease, but unforunately I can't do that. I absolutely hate bullying, its disgustingly low-class and just plain rude. Its something that hits very close to home, I really get into people's faces about it and stand up to anyone who dares to try to pull that **** on someone else.

Unfortunately for myself I can't defend myself that well =X And no one will ever defend me TToTT so poo...

Iluvpoptarts 01-15-08 03:14 PM

Re: Bullies
i had some probs with that when i was younger, at one point i actually became a bully to a couple of kids for a short amount of time.. i enjoyed it too.. i got attention.. said whatever was on my mind.. but then i felt bad later in the long run (and when i was the bully then it was a big deal and suddenly some1 was "disciplining bullies" when it was me and i was punished for it.. altho the bully who bullied me at first wasn't?!)

Marty 01-21-08 03:16 AM

Re: Bullies
I originally made this for an other forum and I think I got all references out to other posts in that thread but if not, so be it. It's also about a year old so the current changes aren't in there but there isn't a lot of new stuff that has to do with bullying.

I hate to be able to, but I know exactly what you're talking about. I've been bullied from 3rd (2nd) to the beginning of 6th grade. The ironic thing though is that it all started because I tried to defend someone. That guy left and it all got 10 times worse in 3rd. The guy I tried to help left and they all focussed on me. I have ADHD so that made it all the more fun for them, one positive thing though is that I was always quite tall for my age but that didn't stop them (nor did the teachers). if I got $1 for each time I heard that I shouldn't be so sensitive or that is was all just a joke (one teacher even managed to say something like: "Don't lie, go back and play with your friends"!) Then I'd be rich now.

In the end I was known as the person to pick on. though in 5th grade that abruptly ended when I kicked some 3rd grader that was constantly cutting me while biking off of his bike. Then it only went on with the people of my class.

In 5th grade I remember one incident where I totally lost control and basically chased one guy (later I heard that I was running unbelievably fast and jumped over a 3' fence) 3 teachers were needed to keep me down (one for each arm and one for my legs). I know this sounds unbelievable (I wouldn't be able to believe it if I was told this, but it is totally true.)
I got into quite a bit of trouble but it was worth it to see the terror on his face when he looked back to see where I was.

In 5th grade there came a new kid in our class that was a big ***hole. They momentarily stopped bullying me, but somehow that guy tried to get into the group by bullying me. Although at first they were very protective for me somehow he managed to get them to his side and it got even worse (this is when my teacher said: "Don't lie! And go play with your friends" *pointing towards the group of people that bullied me*

All of these guys alone where very nice, but in a group they just were mean.

In 6th grade I got a great teacher which stopped the bullying very quickly by just punishing them quite a bit. It actually almost totally stopped, I didn't really mind that little bit that they continued with. Since I didn't want to pi$$ of the teacher that had already helped me so much and it would probably backfired anyway.

in 7th and 8th grade I was at a different school due to our school system. I could get along with the people in charge there and the people who tried it a bit got shown every little corner of that school at least twice.

I changed schools again due to me being dyslectic and not being able to keep up with all the languages that had to be taken there (French, German, Latin, Greek (the ancient stuff), Dutch and English). In 9th grade there again was someone who tried it. I snapped (not as bad as that time in 5th though) and gave that guy a pair of matching black eyes. (And yea, it felt great).

Now I'm in 10th grade, haven't had any trouble since the start of the year (I switched levels back up but this time with out the languages and at my new school, so I had a whole new class).

It was really hard on me and I've gone threw some bad times while that happened which I wouldn't wish onto anyone. (especially 5th grade) I've had a time I was suicidal, and all those kinds of crap too. But I have always had a small group of good friends around me that pulled me threw this all. For which I will always be thankful. (probably wouldn't be here if they weren't there.)

I still have some trouble making friends and trusting people.

The most important thing about it is to not let it ruin your self image. You are perfect the way you are. Don't let anyone say anything different.

supersomeone 01-22-08 05:47 PM

Re: Bullies
I can relate to that all of it lol. The "chubby" short Add kid. yeah lol fun it started in about i dk but 3rd grade was really bad.First my best friend (at the time) totally ditched me my group of friends left me sugar coating it they left me the way girls do (hopefully that make sense) I believe that I was put into a head lock, My father had to come in once or twice to speak to a few kids oh not to mention that the school concolers did nothing and they basically made it worse. And the special education teachers (I went to resorce for math and english maybe 80 mins) called us bad at math and dumb and such.What I do not understand is are the teacher that dumb that they do not see what is going on or are they just to lazy to do anything ? oh ! oh my oghs I forgot about this we went to the liberty science center and the one group that i didnt want to be in the ONE group i just didnt want to be in the group where all the kids you have had problems with the entire year with and the mother who was not much better.The teacher called me up before we left and said we had to swich your group but mrs.0000 promises that everything will be fine.yeah ok now well it is easy to say why I have trust issues and apparently problem with authority's (which I just learned ha) but when i got to middle school things got better and two yrs into high school and no problems lol well no problems with people bothering me at least lol

Guest1 01-22-08 06:27 PM

Re: Bullies
ya i hate bullies it reminds me in school days

Teedrum 01-25-08 06:07 AM

Re: Bullies
i remeber being the one who beat up the bullies....i was always bigger than most kids so i stood up for the ones (including my sisters) who got bullied. The only time i couldn't beat them up was when i was being bullied by a group of 5 8th graders when i was in 5th grade. I couldn't take them all on but one day i got fed up and punched the 'leader' and gave him a bloody nose. They stopped after that.

subliminal93 01-26-08 09:35 PM

Re: Bullies
i got in trouble for self defense!!!! assault charges!

mischief23 03-19-08 11:14 PM

Re: Bullies
I have been bullied ever since I started school. After a while I just became the target for everyone to tease. I ended up being help back due somewhat to bullying and to struggling in school, mostly writing, only to find out several years ago that the struggling was due to my ADD. Anyways that did not help stop the bullying. Due to all the bullying I do not trust anyone older than me and sometimes even those my age.

Like arei said I tend to get mad and stand up for others being bullied but I can't seem to stand up for myself, and no one else does. =P

OneBook 03-28-08 01:05 PM

Re: Bullies
I was never really Bully in school. I mean sure some name calling but never really to the extremes that I needed help.

MJwatson 03-28-08 01:29 PM

Re: Bullies
Great sticky chaos! :)

Jarleigannor 03-30-08 09:47 AM

Re: Bullies
This is the first time I'm seeing this thread, and I'm printing the post out. Living in a rather hick area with an AS child can be difficult. As much as I hate "no tolerance" policies, there is no formal policy on bullying in our schools which, for a hick area, happens to have a high gang factor in addition to the typical social miseries of childhood institutions.
The only formal policy at my son's elementary school is "no tattling", which makes it very difficult for any child, let alone neuroligically different, to make sense of Bullying Types 1, 2, and 5, as listed. And they're also misunderstood by the stupid adults in charge. Maybe I'll make additional copies for them!

Imnapl 03-30-08 06:22 PM

Re: Bullies
From another thread:

Originally Posted by Imnapl (Post 567232)

I also get angry when adults accuse children of tattling instead of looking into the reasons the child is trying to get adult assistance in dealing with social situations. Help the kid learn how to handle things by herself. Shutting down a kid who is asking for help is soul destroying.

djotroy17 05-22-08 03:03 AM

Re: Bullies
I was bullied growing up especially in middle school. I had very low self esteem and I made myself think I was ugly and a loser. In addition my dad would always yell at me and always be mad at me for forgetting/loosing something or because I couldn't focus on homework/school because I had ADD and didn't know it.

Its pretty in your mind you actually get to a point where you accept that you are not as good as everyone else and truly believe it. I now have a great bunch of friends in college, but I still struggle with confidence around girls because of my past issues.

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