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-   -   I need help! My son is driving me bonkers (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=195013)

BuckisMunz 05-17-19 04:58 PM

I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
I have ADHD myself, my son has ADHD himself...

As I'm sure you can already see where I'm about to go. Please know I love my son very very much. My heart actually aches for him.

With that said though, I'd like to throw him in a padded room and beat him up with soft fluffy pillows. wait, he'd probably love that! You get what I mean though.

in the past 2 weeks, he's gotten 2-3 referrals at school. Of which he's actually been doing pretty good in. But these ones are getting out of hand. I've gotten 2 emails from teachers in the past 3 days.

I'm about to explode! I wasn't the same as him in school. I learned from my mistakes and made differrent ones. He doesn't learn from his, and makes the same ones over and over again. He is losing friends. His siblings can't stand being around him cuz he's so out of control. He medicated so that's not the issue. The issue is he just don't understand! He doesn't keep his hands to himself, he's constantly being told by friends and us to stop. He always the kid that takes things too far.

My question for you guys, is how can I help? How can I teach him? What are some good tools to use? I feel like I've tried everything. He's my happiest kid! yet, he's my biggest handful.

Thanks, Jake

qanda 05-17-19 09:07 PM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
Maybe he could go to therapy.

Little Missy 05-17-19 09:41 PM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
I just have to say, never take texts from teachers. If they want to talk, tell them to stop over.

If your son needs a reminder, whop him with a fly swatter, you'll get his attention.

aeon 05-17-19 10:10 PM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BuckisMunz (Post 2018011)
He medicated so that's not the issue.

But it could be the issue.

Is he medicated properly in terms of med and dosage?

Cheers,
Ian

sarahsweets 05-18-19 05:14 AM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
Are you sure the meds work? Is he in therapy? Does he have an IEP or case manager for school?

Lunacie 05-18-19 09:45 AM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
ADHD is not a problem of knowing what to do, it's a problem of doing what you know.
We do learn from our mistakes, but the brain doesn't make the connection to keep
us from making the same mistakes, over and over.

Does your son have an IEP (independent study plan) or 504 Plan in place at school?
He may need accomodations such as someone to remind him to stay on track,
and to notice when he's getting frustrated and needs a break or some help.


Recommended reading (for reals):

20 Best Tips For Helping Your Child Manage: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=123025

Dizfriz's Corner: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6013

qanda 05-18-19 10:17 AM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
I'm a teacher. In our district kids with adhd often have an IEP (individualized education plan) which may require them to have a TA (teaching assistant) with them in their core classes (math, science, LA, SS). I am an encore teacher & we often get a TA for half our class or even none at all. Students may also take tests in a separate location & get extra time. They also have a special ed teacher who may also push in to the core classes to modify assignments or be extra help to the teacher while teaching. The special ed teacher and TA may also help keep their students paper work organized and ensure they write down assignments and check to make sure they are completing them. But don't forget, they are responsible for many children so your son will not receive 1:1 help. That kind of support would be very, very costly for school districts and is not feasible. Still all this sounds great & it does help, but some students can be hugely disruptive to a class regardless of the extra adults & support. And just to give you a teacher point of view, I have another 25 students to look out for too. So when a student is constantly disruptive or off task, the amount of material I can get through decreases, & the rest of the class may be on standby while one student is getting reminders to stay on task, retaught because they once again did not pay attention, or need reminders to not disrupt repeatedly. Learning is often building upon things, so missing a step or concept causes a students learning to stop in it's tracks. And sometimes we end up moving on so 25 students don't waste time in wait mode and the students struggling fall behind. Then these struggling students need to stay after school to catch up which is often another fight as they are already feeling overwhelmed with work & their Homework often takes much longer to complete because they get distracted so easily. And I also see some students struggle with friends as a result of their immaturity and annoying behaviors, which is the part that actually breaks my heart the most. So I would recommend therapy along with meds to help your son behave in a way that's more socially acceptable & conducive to learning. My nephew, who exhibited some anxiety, would lose it sometimes, but it seems his lose of control was anxiety related as a SSRI added to his Concerta has helped him stay in control more. Maybe your son has a missing part of the puzzle too.

JohnPent 05-24-19 11:03 AM

Re: I need help! My son is driving me bonkers
 
ADHD is not a one size fits all issue, so the meds may not be right. My 13 and 15 year old sons have ADHD. The younger one is more hyper and out of control than the older one... When off his meds. They have different meds. Both are GT students that are well behaved. Off the meds, the younger son likes to get into personal space and irritate others. Good luck.
Counseling is also important. It's never only an rx fix.


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