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-   -   Finally Got The Answer (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=194187)

Emre22 12-22-18 12:47 AM

Finally Got The Answer
 
Hello i haven't been here for long time.
This summer i thought that i finally got rid of unending depression(suffered for 5 or 6 years )
But i didnt know that it was the beginning of a hypomanic episode, it was like dream at the beginning, over self-esteem/optimism,dedication,bellicosity etc.

I doubted that it could be mania because of pressured speech,racing thoughts(thoughts were connected , was not illogical but it was too fast),less need of sleep(actually i wasnt sleeping for 22 hours then sleeping 4-5 hours repeat)
After 1.5 months.
I called my doctor he made me stop all anti-depressants suddenly , it seemed like it slowed me down a little bit but it wasn't the ending , i guess with some stressful and anxious events triggered karma episode started and it became worse slowly

I will pass the boring part, at the final without any anti depressants , pressured talking , unending energy kept up without all medications(only concerta for ADHD),suicidal thoughts started coming into my mind

I went to a doctor again here and he told me that "you have Bipolar II, you are experiencing Karma episode"

I began taking Depakin Chrono BT 1000mg at morning and 1000mg at evenning + seroquel(quetapine) 100mg at evenning
i do not use any anti depressant for now, i stopped using concerta , dont know whether will i start again or not
I do not remember clearly when did i start taking Bipolar medications 1 or 3 weeks ( just been through too much)

I have some questions in my mind, how will i differ ADHD from Bipolar? Did i really have ADHD because you know Bipolar II have similiar symptoms like ADHD

Also as i started taking Bipolar medication, i realized that "dream like months/happiest period of my life" was absolutely a hypomanic or manic episode
But i don't know the difference between full blown mania and hypomania

My mother has Bipolar I , doctor here told me that "you have bipolar II"

It feels weird, i couldnt trigger a hypomanic or manic episode when i abused drugs( weed etc.)
And this thing started at my 24th year in my life :scratch:

By the way last week , ultra rapid cyclings were horrible , i read that ultra rapid cycling is a result of anti-depressant treatment alone
i guess i have done it long enough :D , for 5-6 years
my mood was changing like feeling like king and feelings like falling to abyss in same day
I felt like i lost my mind completely
but as doctor increased dose of my medications , i reach the balance by time , still working on it

Emre22 12-22-18 12:48 AM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Actually i wasnt unhappy with hypomanic episode until it got out of control
a mild hypomanic episode wouldnt be bad again :)

I registered to 5 clubs in university , i was ultra active etc.
i mean i havent done things like that in my life , many things . It was like being supreme, my grades were really great(i read that hypomania increases functionality)

And i have one more question , when i become more balanced
Can only mood stabilizer treatment keep me under control ? Without an anti-psychotic.

midnightstar 12-22-18 05:55 AM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
"Karma episode"? Haven't come across that term before :scratch:

willow129 12-22-18 09:08 AM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
I’m Glad to hear that you have gotten some answers and are getting treatment Emre. Don’t know anything about bipolar meds, but I hope you are able to get all of the answers you are looking for and that things keep getting smoother for you :)

Emre22 12-22-18 09:25 AM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by midnightstar (Post 2012187)
"Karma episode"? Haven't come across that term before :scratch:

Mixed episodes , worst one in my opinion . In depressive episodes at least u have the feeling of sour peace
But in mixed episode, what i experienced it is hard to bear , mood swings were became very often for me,agitation,i read that suicide risk is higher in this episode,
It is like having high energy but this energy anxious ,irratible etc.

psychopathetic 12-22-18 09:18 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Hey Ems! It's really nice to see you again :)

(((Ems)))

I have both ADD and Bipolar. I too take a mood stabilizer (Lamotrigine). It helps a lot at keeping me from hitting really bad lows.
I sometimes have rapid cycles between feeling great...or at least good...to feeling real bad, all within the same day too.
I was actually just going through that through most of November.

lol I really like my highs. The times I've done the best in life were the times when my moods were really high (mania). Sometimes I get so high up there that I feel like superman! Nothing can stop me and I'm on top of the world!
Of course it never lasts...and I can get stuck in my lows for months.

Quote:

Did i really have ADHD because you know Bipolar II have similiar symptoms like ADHD
It's absolutely possible to have both.

Quote:

Can only mood stabilizer treatment keep me under control ? Without an anti-psychotic.
This is really hard to say. Everyone's different and need different things to help them out.
I never did well on anti-psychotic/depressant/anxiety meds...it wasn't till I tried a mood stabilizer just 3 or so years ago that I finally found something I'd be willing to take.
I'm also on adderall for my ADD.

I'm wondering why you're no longer taking any meds for your ADHD?

...
Anyhow, I'm just rambling lol.
It's nice to hear from you again! I really hope the new meds help. Rapid cycling moods freaking suck! :(
Do you notice if your moods tend to dip their lowest during the evenings? That's when my moods get real low.

(((((((Ems)))))))

Lunacie 12-22-18 09:19 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
I don't know much about bipolar, but have never heard the term karmic.
I've heard of mixed episodes, rapid cycling, and cyclothemic episodes.
I don't know anything about the meds, but glad they're helping with balance.
I think Sarahsweets and psychopathetic take meds for bipolar. Maybe ask them.

psychopathetic 12-22-18 09:27 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunacie (Post 2012197)
but have never heard the term karmic.
I've heard of mixed episodes, rapid cycling, and cyclothemic episodes.

I wonder if it's just that he's from a different country? Or perhaps it's just a term his doctor uses for some reason?

I've never heard the term either.

Ems did clarify what the term meant though...

Quote:

Mixed episodes...
Quote:

[...]worst one in my opinion . In depressive episodes at least u have the feeling of sour peace
But in mixed episode, what i experienced it is hard to bear , mood swings were became very often for me,agitation,i read that suicide risk is higher in this episode,
It is like having high energy but this energy anxious ,irratible etc.
And yeah...I agree with a lot of this. Mixed episodes (rapid cycling) sucks! :(
When I'm going through this, I stop even enjoying the 'highs' (good moods) I get because I know that a crash (low mood) is right around the corner waiting to pounce on me.

Emre22 12-22-18 09:40 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by psychopathetic (Post 2012196)

I'm wondering why you're no longer taking any meds for your ADHD?

Doctor told me to not take at least for a month(or just taking 10mg ritaline if i really need it), i agree with him , i want to wait until this ultra rapid cycling stops completely off

I really liked what happened last two months, but i realized one thing as much as you go high, falling is as strong as how high you fly
maybe it was traumatic for me and i exaggerate
but i am scared to feel good because i know what is coming next to it


there is no specific time period for my highs and lows, it happens by random chance
but last 3 days, rapid cycling slowed down a lot , and it's frequency is reduced


i would rather chose depression to mixed episode

mixed episode is a thing like, there is fire which burns you

depression is like peace of death, peaceful hopelessness

mixed episodes with ultra rapid cycling really tires me, i want it to stop immediately

Emre22 12-22-18 09:46 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
yes karma episode or karmic episode is "karma" is Turkish synonym of Mixed
i didnt recognize while i was writing
i realized after u warned me

Emre22 12-22-18 09:47 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Nice to see you again too psycho
I never thought that i would wish depression in my life :D
Mixed episodes and ultra rapid cycling changed my mind
Whole years of treatment with medications , i was chasing euphoric mood, getting rid of depression
now i am willing to take anti-psychotics&mood stabilizers, happy to take them
and i want to slow down

it really never happened in my life before, life is weird

Emre22 12-22-18 10:04 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
By the way my insomnia disappeared magicly after i started taking bipolar meds

I guess 1-2 years long insomnia's source was undiscovered Bipolar

after 2 years, i can feel sleepy , drowsy , sleep like normal humans

it is the only positive side about all , i guess

sarahsweets 12-23-18 07:02 AM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Can you explain to me what a karma episode is?

psychopathetic 12-23-18 10:44 AM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets (Post 2012211)
Can you explain to me what a karma episode is?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emre22 (Post 2012200)
yes karma episode or karmic episode is "karma" is Turkish synonym of Mixed
i didnt recognize while i was writing
i realized after u warned me

I think he did so here.
And by mixed I think he's talking about rapid cycling...between good and bad moods.

(((Sweets)))

Emre22 12-23-18 03:14 PM

Re: Finally Got The Answer
 
I wish i never used that term, caused too much trouble of missunderstanding :)
This illness feels really weird
Was it me or hypomania,depression questions come to my mind,different approaches , tendencies in different periods of life

maybe it explains why i had many opposite interests, opposite things or wide spectrum of interests,music genres, political , spiritual views,hobbies,lazy,ultra active etc.

i had so much in my life, when i look back at the past
i ask myself , do i really have a personality or my episodes just drive me ?

Last 4 months feels like 4 years


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