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-   -   Should Abi quit Grad School? (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116358)

Abi 01-20-12 01:25 PM

Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I have my first deliverable due and I already don't want to do it.

The truth is, I don't want to do anything except chill.

Aren't I bluffing myself about wanting to extend my education, let alone going to WORK again after (I hate work and it makes me physiclly sick, I have vowed in the past NEVER to work again.)

Abi 01-20-12 01:26 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Poll closes in 48 hours. I will go by majority vote.

sarek 01-20-12 01:28 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
You know my answer Abi. You will be eternally sorry if you quit.

Blueranne 01-20-12 01:34 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Don't quit Abi. It takes momentum to get through school. The hardest part is getting started.

Turbochica 01-20-12 01:47 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Abi I am torn between picking yes and no

I did say no don't quit but then if your heart is not in it how can you go on?

I think you need to find a way to light the fire in your soul and heart to be passionate about it and then continue or find something else that will do that for you.

I know when I was finishing my degree my motivation to continue was 1. picturing my sister hanging me in a tree and whipping my butt if I didnt and wanting to be able to say to my children - didn't have any at them time, it's tough I know but stick with it and complete it you will be so glad you did and the timing may never happen again so that you can.


Later onI went 3/4 of the way through nursing school and never have had the chance to prove those blankety blank instructors that yes I can do this. but years later I realize nursing is not my passion, creativity and inspiring others to be creative - like the boys I work with is. ''so find your passion abi and go for it. if finishing grad school will lead you to that finish it

Possum 01-20-12 01:48 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I'd say hang in there too. I had endless difficulties when I was in grad school causing me to drop out of the field I was truly interested in. I hated doing all the math my degree required and I used that as an excuse to give up. Ultimately, I got a grad degree in another field, but I have always wished that I'd stuck it out the first time around.

Think of it this way. You can quit any day you want to, but starting all over with something new is going to take a lot of time and effort. Just keep going one day at a time and give it a chance for your situation to improve.

Good luck!

Turbochica 01-20-12 01:56 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
hang in ther Abi for me, I think I never regret hanging in there but I will always regret prematurely giving up

Impetus 01-20-12 02:25 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I don't even have a bachelors, so who am I to really talk.... but you didn't BLOCK me from voting, so I voted.

This maybe my problem alone, but it's really showing itself lately, so I'm just throwing it out there..... could this be anxiety? I've dropped out of the same english class 2 or 3 times over the past 15 years b/c of my stoopid anxiety! I twist myself up into so many knots I can't write the dumb papers, cause they aren't "good enough."

My mother has bi polar comorbid to a myriad of other stuff.... and her anxiety is just plain scary for everyone around her! not sure why I think it might fit for you too, just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks.

Luvmybully 01-20-12 03:05 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I answered no you should not quit, but do ask yourself which is more likely to cause you regret later in your life?

Will you be more likely to say you regret you DID finish or that you regret you didn't?

Saboit 01-20-12 03:29 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
why would he regret if he finished?
I didn't even graduate from high school...:(

Impetus 01-20-12 03:43 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I think she meant would Abi regret it if he quit? Or does Abi think he might regret it if he doesn't finish?

and why would someone have regret about either? that's a hard question to ponder. My bff's hubby just finished his doctorate in June, he still has a lousy job that pays less than mine (only HS degree), and he has student loans.... at the moment, he's regretting that he bothered with it.

my hubby regrets not finishing HS. I regret not finishing college. I have a coworker that sits next to me, she regrets her bachelors b/c it isn't helping her right now....

College degrees don't have a super immediate gratification, and sometimes they just turn out to be part of a "life well lived."

so I can see the conundrum. but I err on the side of doing what you can today, it could be illegal tomorrow!

angora 01-20-12 03:55 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Do you mean quit forever - or a temporary quit cause you just can't do it right now?

It took me tens years to get my undergrad degree.

Saboit 01-20-12 04:01 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
by the look if it, forever


thanks impetus!

TygerSan 01-20-12 04:02 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
What field are you in, and what degree are you going for?

In my not so humble opinion, do it if the majority of what you're learning interests you, not because you need a job afterwards.

As someone who has walked the walk: There will be times you won't give a cr*p about what you're doing, and you'll think WTF am I doing? I don't know anyone in my PhD program who *didn't* have a period of time like that.

Be prepared: You *need* some form of support and sanity check in order to get through.

Abi 01-20-12 04:23 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TygerSan (Post 1236539)
What field are you in, and what degree are you going for?

In my not so humble opinion, do it if the majority of what you're learning interests you, not because you need a job afterwards.

As someone who has walked the walk: There will be times you won't give a cr*p about what you're doing, and you'll think WTF am I doing? I don't know anyone in my PhD program who *didn't* have a period of time like that.

Be prepared: You *need* some form of support and sanity check in order to get through.

Computers/IT

MSc Comp Sci

Abi 01-20-12 04:23 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by angora (Post 1236534)
Do you mean quit forever - or a temporary quit cause you just can't do it right now?

It took me tens years to get my undergrad degree.

Forever

RedHairedWitch 01-20-12 05:25 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
You just started?

Rebelyell 01-20-12 06:14 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Sarek is right dont quit you'll regret it later down the road,Maybe rehab is for quitters but not grad school we are now talking bout.LOL

julesjampot 01-20-12 06:45 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Why would a highly intelligent person who has so much to offer want to quit and do nothing,
You have a fantastic mind ,use it or one day you will regret it, dont forget you have a date with me in 2013 at Birmingham England,the world is your oyster Luv JULES.

Saboit 01-20-12 06:56 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
jules, abi is too young for you hehe;)

BR549 01-20-12 07:01 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I do think that you will regret it one day. Jules is right, too. You ARE highly intelligent and have so much to offer.

Think long-term. You know yourself better than anyone. Do you really want to go to grad school? Are you going to school because you think you should or because you want to? Will you regret it if you quit? Will you always kick yourself because you didn't finish?

Personally, I think you should stick with it. :) You've got to do what's best for you, though.

julesjampot 01-20-12 07:06 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Saboit,
this is a time and date and support does not matter how old i am,i could be 20 i could be 50 but when it comes to helping a person,do you ask there age

peripatetic 01-20-12 11:01 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
not yet. i konw things can seem overwhelming...but i think you'll break through and get your head above water if you stick with it. that, and i think you'll internalize it in harmful ways.

Rebelyell 01-20-12 11:05 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
If abi quits he gets a plastic shovel to the head:D

Pamplemousse 01-21-12 12:55 AM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I would vote but I'm almost in the same position. I want to remove myself from this hell hole....

but's it's not entirely my decision...unless I flunk out....

But yeah, i would say stick with but I'm not in a position to talk in case I drop and I don't want to sound like a hypocrite.

trishcan 01-21-12 01:10 AM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I guess it depends on why you're doing it... what you want to get out of it. I admire the hell out of someone who can quit something when it's the best option versus hanging in there indefinitely because they're concerned about some amorphous regret.

Rebelyell 01-21-12 01:23 AM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I did that w my automotive career every one was telling me to get out and I didnt wanna quit finally after 8 years my career was like a bad marriage and baad nightmare I couldnt get away from and was going nowheres.I finally had to throw in the towel after my mom died,it was kind of thrown in for me.I got really really sick.

Luvmybully 01-21-12 12:47 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Saboit (Post 1236524)
why would he regret if he finished?

It is a personal question that no one can answer for another.

Quote:

Originally Posted by trishcan (Post 1236797)
I guess it depends on why you're doing it... what you want to get out of it. I admire the hell out of someone who can quit something when it's the best option versus hanging in there indefinitely because they're concerned about some amorphous regret.

Yes, this is EXACTLY why I said he needs to ask himself. There is no one path for all, for some continuing education is not the path that will lead them to the most fulfilling life.

The regret works both ways, you have to really examine yourself and your life and your goals when you make a decision. Which do you think you'll regret the most? Be the most satisfied with?

The answer needs to be based on how the individual feels, and not what someone else would regret/be satisfied with.

pechemignonne 01-21-12 01:17 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
You're a good writer.

Rare that I read even a grad-level paper that is legible and makes sense, is well-organized and comprehensible, even when I know nothing about the subject.

It would be a shame for you to quit when you're better than most.

Saboit 01-21-12 01:24 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
What paper are you talking about pechepech

Abi 01-21-12 02:02 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
THe draft I emailed her

Saboit 01-21-12 02:05 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
I want this to be messaged to me too please:)
I would like to read. I have already got one from lamb that I am trying to read. I will eventually...

Luvmybully 01-21-12 02:16 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
ugggg I had a WHOLE ******* post typed out and hit that magic button the erased the whole damn thing.

So, far less eloquently than what I had before, but paraphrased:

Leaving school does not = disappearing off the face of the earth.

Leaving school does not = no longer using your superior intelligence, strengths and skills.

There IS opportunity outside of a classroom to fully utilize your intelligence.

School is toxic to certain individuals' mental health and is not always worth the tremendous effort it takes to get through it.

Most adult human beings must have a way of earning money to support themselves. Generally speaking, a college education is required to be able to do that in a truly independent manner. However, grad school is not ALWAYS a necessity.

It is entirely possible that some may feel pressured to continue their education when it is really not going to better their lives if they do.

Quitting is just as easily called changing paths. Altering your direction. Choosing a different road. "Quitting" has such a negative connotation that doesn't necessarily automatically fit the situation.

So Abi, if I could change my vote I would. Staying in school just because you are highly intelligent is NOT the correct answer for you if everything in you is telling you that you DO NOT want to do it.

You should only stay in school if getting that advanced degree TRULY has value to you. That you can know in your heart that the effort it will take to achieve it will be worth it to you and you WANT it.

It is not a failure if you choose not to go. It is not a lacking of anything in you if that degree doesn't have enough value for you to make it worth the effort to earn it.

It doesn'e mean you QUIT. It means you chose a different path.

APSJ 01-21-12 02:47 PM

Re: Should Abi quit Grad School?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Abi (Post 1236455)
I have my first deliverable due and I already don't want to do it.

The truth is, I don't want to do anything except chill.

Aren't I bluffing myself about wanting to extend my education, let alone going to WORK again after (I hate work and it makes me physiclly sick, I have vowed in the past NEVER to work again.)

I think the advice others have given about considering why you're doing it in making this decision is valid.

However, I voted 'no' don't quit, because it seems to me like you're questioning whether *any* education or *any* 'non-chilling activity is right for you, rather than if you've chosen the right field.

I think a simple cost benefit analysis reveals that the potential benefits of continuing this endeavor, unless you become confident that it's not right for you, outweigh the costs. My thinking is, you're relatively young, and this program will take a few years of your life tops, right? That being the case, you'll have plenty of opportunities to quit the program, or later abandon a career in the field, and go back to chilling without having wasted all that much time. And, quitting is easy to do...you just..stop. So, if there remains an at all significant chance that this degree/career would make you feel more fulfilled and content for the majority of your life, it's not a lot to sacrifice to find out if it's the case.

In contrast, consider the resistance you had to overcome to start this program, and the effort that went into it. Starting is not easy to do. My guess is also that quitting would make starting again even harder next time, and that the passage of time would magnify the difficulty. Thus, quitting now will likely mean you'll have a harder time in the future should you decide it was the right path after all, and potentially miss out on substantial long-term benefits.

Financial considerations might alter the level of certainty that it's *not* for you required to quit, I suppose...


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