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-   -   Regressive/immature behavior (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=193700)

Daniel1970 10-18-18 10:33 AM

Regressive/immature behavior
 
Anyone have experience with regressive/immature behavior?

Our 9-year-old (ADHD) was behaving in an infantile manner on the way to elementary school today, to the point that she was attracting the attention of other students in an embarrassing way. Her 6-year-old sister (non-ADHD) was making her way normally.

I'm of the mind that any kind of acting out usually has an underlying cause, and it seems that the 9-year-old is constantly seeking attention. Her therapist has tried to explain to her that her parents love her, even when they are not directly paying attention to her; it's not like a light switch that turns on or off. I think I'm going to emphasize this with her when I get home from work or next quiet moment we get.

Any similar experiences?

Lunacie 10-18-18 10:56 AM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
Some kids do this if they feel they only get attention for acting badly.

The best advice I've gotten is to comment whenever you see the child acting
good. "Thanks for playing with your sister." "Thanks for putting your dirty glass
in the sink." "Looks like you had a hard time doing your homework, but I'm
proud of you for giving it your best try."

lisariver 10-18-18 11:55 AM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
you didn't really give details, so I'm not sure...my ideas are usually way out there, lol but I see some different possibilities. My son sometimes seemed to manifest my feelings, it's the rescuer in them, they want to heal their parents, caregivers...this was 20 years ago, so I've had some time to reflect. My situation may have been different because I struggled with depression.

Now I'm doing inner child work, and so I tend to project that onto a lot of things, so you can dismiss this, if you can't see a place for it. So possibly your child is trying to demand attention for the inner child of one of her parents or she could be wanting attention for some unresolved void of the early childhood of her own little inner child. (Personally, I feel, I'm still tending to my mother's inner child, which is a real pain in the ****, cause she was really hurt and angry)

Also another possibility, given that adhd kids are behind,( i don't know if she has it), according to Barkley by something like a couple of years?, I don't remember, maybe you're child is trying to say she's not ready for what is in front of her.

I would spend extra time coddling and cuddling her, hold her a lot, go back to the baby experience, old toys, songs, baby books, see if you can feel it out that way. I would look for clues that way. Otherwise, I would be worried that it would just become a buried wound forgotten, to surface later in life.

But this is just my personal experience, I know it sounds far out.

Caco3girl 10-18-18 12:14 PM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
Another possibility is that she didn't sleep well or was hungry. My 9 year old has some EPIC episodes when either of those are in play. Since she is already 5'0 she grows pretty much every day, so the hungry and tired thing is pretty much her standard operating procedure at the moment.

sarahsweets 10-19-18 01:42 AM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
I forget if you said if she has adhd but assuming she does then the 30% rule applies. This means emotionally she is 30% less mature than her peers- in this case more like a 7 year old.

mildadhd 10-19-18 05:09 AM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
Are there times when your daughter has expressed progressive/mature behavior?






M

mildadhd 10-19-18 04:04 PM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mildadhd (Post 2008983)
Are there times when your daughter has expressed progressive/mature behavior?






M

To clarify, I found it best to focus on and promote my son's progressive/mature behavior.

Unless my son is being rude, etc...

I can be very immature myself.

(I needed to learn that others do not want to play with me when I am expressing regressive behavior)

So I have always tried to be there for my son, help him through, when he needed to learn similar topics.

Create a relationship with him, to help work on the topics and help learn.

Hope this makes some sense.


M

mildadhd 10-19-18 04:38 PM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
Sorry to post do much, missed edit deadline.

Thinking about it, I am not really sure what regressive behavior is?

If regressive behavior is immature behavior, then would regressive/immature behavior be normal behavior, for a children and teens in general?



M

tudorose 10-19-18 07:56 PM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
This is perfectly normal behaviour. Don't make the mistake (like I did) of analysing everything to death. Sometimes as an adult I find myself behaving like an idiot and I'm 43 years old with a respectable job.

If any analysis is made I'd suggest getting her to do some exercise to release her frustrations. My kids and I used karate when they were that age. It's quite therapeutic beating people up legitimately. Now that I'm older cycling is my physical punishment of choice. Get that heart rate up real higj and then everything ceases to matter.

Nancy Adams 11-13-18 04:02 AM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
This type of kid needs attention. Sometimes their type of play is to hurt other kids but for them, they are just like having fun. In fact, parents must have time for their children or a family bonding in order to strengthen the bond of the family.

mildadhd 01-01-19 06:30 PM

Re: Regressive/immature behavior
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy Adams (Post 2010364)
This type of kid needs attention. Sometimes their type of play is to hurt other kids but for them, they are just like having fun. In fact, parents must have time for their children or a family bonding in order to strengthen the bond of the family.




-bond
-food
-water
-play

Interesting you mention a type of play.

Jaak Panksepp recommended social play sanctuaries run by certified play masters, trained to help recognize different types human social play behavior, to help recognize different types of affective temperaments and help promote daily healthy bonds/attention, etc.








M


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