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SUCK at self-analizing...sometimes I hate myself, you know?

Posted 02-10-08 at 03:44 AM by arkyle
When I started suspecting I had AD/HD one of the first things I read is that we tend to get an impression of someone in record time since a lot of us overthink and I usually get to the right conclusion, but we aren't able to do the same about ourselves and the situations and people who are too close to us for a variety of reasons.

I can't believe I didn't notice. I just want to scream and go and tell her I'm SO SO sorry about everything I did to her, about everything that happened in her life because I didn't even notice, in fact, everything I noticed way too late. Just to think about everything I passed through in that weird relationship and to suddenly get that she has feelings for me too, but that now I'm too messed up with who I am and trying to get my life in order, and then I remember all these moments we've spent together and seeing them from a very different perspective; I'm the worst.

Yeah, this was random but I needed to take (the rest of it, the other 90 was while sitting here alone inside my head talking to myself and torturing me) out. Now I just want to tell her what's going on and apologize...I might go right now if I can't bear with it.
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  1. Old
    Hang in there my friend....this is something that we learn to manage on a daily basis - it takes time and it impacts relationships as you well know. Does she know about your ADHD and the impact it has on relationships? I just heard a good audio program about the impact of ADHD to spouses...some of that information may apply. I know this sounds too rationale given that your heart is aching. Understanding how this impacts us in relationships and sharing that information to someone significant is very difficult; even more so because it takes us awhile to accept it in ourselves. I ignored it for years...looking back, I can see how this affected my relationships.
    Continue to rant and rave and get it out on paper...this helps reduce the chatter in our heads. Warmly, M
    Posted 02-11-08 at 08:16 AM by stpetetallguy stpetetallguy is offline
  2. Old
    zoomman's Avatar
    I just came through two years of college in which I was so hyperfocused that I hardly ever saw my family, studied 14 hours a day, and never, never thought a thing was wrong. I've graduated and come out of it and it's made a big difference that my wife now sees how it was ADHD. She thought it was something personal...Hang in there.
    Posted 02-11-08 at 10:24 AM by zoomman zoomman is offline
  3. Old
    arkyle's Avatar
    Thanks a lot. That's the problem...I didn't even know I had ADHD until a bit more than a month ago...
    Posted 02-11-08 at 08:26 PM by arkyle arkyle is offline
  4. Old
    Mincan's Avatar
    I suck at analysing myself. I've thought myself everything under the sun at one point or another.

    Be easy on yourself... you've only got yourself!
    Posted 03-06-08 at 06:20 PM by Mincan Mincan is offline
 
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