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Just another day in my crazy world . . .

Posted 01-30-09 at 11:48 AM by egodystonicadhd
I am having a case of the blahs lately. It seems that if anything could go wrong, it has been. That really doesn't bother me though because that is when I really LOVE having adhd. I am not able to think about the negative for too long because I am already thinking about something else.

What has been on my OCD mind though is about starting my own company. Well, I have already started it, but still working full time for "the man" who is exploiting my talents and making a lot of money doing it too. I can work one day a week for myself, and earn the same amount of money working 45 hours for the store I am employeed at. It is so obvious what I need to do, but I am so scared to even try and scared of failure.

My therapist has a list of three questions for me.

1. Is my thinking based on fact?
2. Does my thinking help me achieve my goals?
3. Does my thinking helpp me feel the way I want to feel?

So if I answer yes to number 1, then i go to the second quesiton and find out if it does not help me achieve my goals, what can I do to correct it. And I do the same with question number three.

But what is stalling me?

Has anyone ever felt they were meant for something much more? Has anyone here felt that they are not even close to what potential that have? Does anyone feel like they are here for some greater purpose?

Now don't get me wrong. I am ego dystonic, which means I am super critical of myself and have about the worst self esteem one could have (just the opposite of a narcissit really), but I just feel I have not found my purpose or my calling yet, or that I have but don't know how to achieve my full potential.

Ugggghhhhhh..... just another day with my adhd and my obsessive thoughts. Hope you all are doing better than I am today.

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  1. Old
    Addr68's Avatar
    Love your blog entry! Yes, I feel/think I have yet to reach my full potenial.

    I look to the horizon and find another horizon...I cast my sails..many harbors and nights on the high seas...

    I do believe I will get "there"...just casting my sails, praying for a good true wind...

    For now, I stand at the helm and do the best I can

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts To the journey we are on!! Bryan aka addr68

    May your sails, take you to that horizon with endless potenials!
    Posted 02-01-09 at 12:59 AM by Addr68 Addr68 is offline
  2. Old
    ginniebean's Avatar
    yes yes and yes.. waiting to turn into a swan.

    doubt and fear cripple me.
    Posted 02-04-09 at 03:23 AM by ginniebean ginniebean is offline
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