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The Thread I Won't Start

Posted 03-07-09 at 10:54 PM by RedHairedWitch
Title:
How do NTers experience love?


Body of topic:
I don't mean to offend anyone. I am just asking and honest question trying to understand the NTers in my life and how they experience love.

You see, the NTers who say they love me don't seem to show it very well.

They are constantly nit picking what I do, pointing out my mistakes, badgering me to remember things that aren't important...

It seems like they are constantly watching me, just waiting for me to make a mistake.

And they love to embarrass me in public by pointing out my flaws in front of people!

They seem more concerned with whether or not my socks match than how I am feeling today.

And any little mistake I make gets blown way out of proportion!

Sometimes I think they only hang around me to b*tch about me.

How can someone really love another person, if all they can focus on it their flaws?
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Comments

  1. Old
    Phantastic's Avatar

    Even my flaws are flawed.

    wait a second... you have flaws?

    I refuse to believe that.
    Posted 03-08-09 at 02:44 AM by Phantastic Phantastic is offline
  2. Old
    RedHairedWitch's Avatar
    Baby I'm bruised
    Yes I'm bruised
    From falling off
    My pedestal
    Baby there are
    Blood stains
    Yes blood stains
    On my pedestal
    Can you help me find
    My missing teeth
    From falling off
    My pedestal
    Posted 03-08-09 at 03:17 PM by RedHairedWitch RedHairedWitch is offline
  3. Old
    Phantastic's Avatar

    Obviously inadequate railling system...

    I thought I installed railing on that thing?
    Posted 03-08-09 at 04:40 PM by Phantastic Phantastic is offline
  4. Old
    ginniebean's Avatar
    Hey guys,

    Witchy, I hear you. I went looking for any post on the internet for how does an adhd person cope with a non add partner. guess what? nothing. We're expected to adapt. We're expected to do all that work, and all for the luxury of just never measuring up?

    I don't know, I'm sure some of the spouses have it difficult. I wouldn't want to live with someone with addiction problems to drugs or alcohol, that brings it's own huge set of problems. I work, keep a job, get to work on time, and I do well. I don't see myself as insensitive to anothers needs, emotionally or otherwise. If that need is to have item "A" place in location "B" and thou shalt not put it anywhere else. I don't see that as an add problem, I see that as control. The assumption that my way is 'righter' than your way is a given.

    At this time in my life, I am much less interested in figuring out how to accomodate the NT population, we're so damn busy accomodating, we don't seem to even be able to raise the question of "what aboutour frustrations"? I'd like to know how to cope with an NT'r, is it just assumed that we know this? If you look at all the mindless superficial crap that 'normal' people find so terribly important you start to question yourself as to why you would want that?

    But every expert (and oh aren't there so many?) seems to think the answer lies in more and more work and burden for the add person. The whole concept revolves around how wrong being add is instead of what's right with us.

    How will we every figure this out when we spend so much energy just trying to be what we're not?
    Posted 03-10-09 at 01:46 AM by ginniebean ginniebean is offline
  5. Old
    meadd823's Avatar
    Don't - Many have heard with age comes wisdom I am not soo sure of that but with it comes the knowledge that some things are worth my adapting to while others are not.

    I decided social stupidity wasn't and there are others who feel the same way.

    Don't quit being who you are and don't let some one make you feel bad for it. What you see is real That is why I post that link from the isn't autistics.org about the study of the neurologically typical where applicable.


    The term NTer really came from and if you scroll to the bottom he explains how the site is an expression of autistic outrage - we aren't alone. . . and we aren't wrong.

    Why do you think I put the Nters who post over on the ADD side in our place of being the minority therefor the "disordered ones" - I do believe ADD as a disorder is contextual in nature. I understand how it can be perceived as a social construct but to come onto an ADD support site and makes such claims as ADD doesn't exist because it is a neurodiversity helps no one.



    Some think we ADDers are wrong because the neurologically typical are a majority - proof to me billions of people can be as wrong as one or two.

    Neurotypicals are a majority and have been in charge of our social structures and if you look around it makes little sense to try and be like them

    What has neurologically typical dominance brought to planet earth ??? Pollution, poverty and social stupidity???? Why feel shame in your diversity in the face of those facts.

    Some think I am to harsh on their threads they have no idea of what lies beneath the surface. I see no benefit of causing the same hurt I have been caused but there are times I get sick of the blame ADD game myself. Not all Nter are bad many are good people so I do my best not to place them all in the same bucket. . . . I try to remind myself there are good NTers out there they are like gold - a difficult but valuabel find
    Posted 03-12-09 at 02:18 AM by meadd823 meadd823 is offline
  6. Old
    it's because we don't understand. keep sharing.
    Posted 09-28-09 at 11:27 PM by all2common all2common is offline
 
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